Yesterday, Ella and I had some quality alone time. It was the middle of the afternoon, and we were watching Olympic gymnastics that I had dvr'd from the night before. We were snuggled up together on the couch, and we were cheering for everyone to do a good job.
The doorbell rang, and I figured it was just a delivery man. It was two children, a boy and a girl, and they were selling something. The girl was raising money for cheerleading. I know what it's like to have to go door-to-door to sell stuff (years of Girl Scouts and club fundraisers take a toll on a person) so I agreed to buy some cheese danishes. I filled out the form and said thank you, and good luck. As I was getting ready to close the door, the boy said, "Um. Actually. Can I please use your bathroom?" What? I thought. I almost told him to just go pee around the corner of the house, but I didn't think the neighbors would like that.
I told him that he could, and that my son was napping, so to please be quiet. I showed him where the bathroom was and went to get Grayson, who had woke up screaming. I took G out to the entryway, and the little girl was coloring with chalk on the easel with Ella. I asked her what grade she was in - "Second." I asked her where she lived - "Over by Sportsman Club Road."
I expected the boy to be out of the bathroom by this time, but oh no. And that could only mean one thing - he was crapping in my bathroom! I tried to keep the conversation flowing with the girl so that I'd keep my mind off of what was happening in my bathroom. For some reason, the fact that he was a very overweight kid made my mind think the worst about what could happen in there. I know, that's horrible, but I couldn't help it.
Out of nowhere, the girl says, "Can I have something to drink?" What? First the boy needs to shit in my bathroom, and not the girl expects me to give her a drink? I got her a Capri Sun from the refrigerator (E doesn't like them) and she thanked me. She then asked which door was for the bathroom and I told her. She proceeded to knock on it to tell her brother to hurry up. E then decided to show the girl her Wall-E toy. The girl didn't seem impressed.
The boy finally emerges, thanks me, and the two of them leave. Although he had closed the bathroom door, the smell of air freshener is overwhelming. E asks me what the smell is, so I told her that the boy pooped and it stunk so he sprayed air freshener. She told me it was too stinky.
I didn't open the door to that bathroom for about 5 hours - I had wild thoughts of what I'd find. And some of these thoughts came true when I finally went in. The boy had left me a little present. Seriously? Couldn't he double flush?
The whole incident was just weird. I understand that we are a small town, and I'm sure it's ok for these kids to go door-to-door selling stuff. I think the boy was in 5th grade; he looked like he might be, and so I'm glad he accompanied his little sister. That was nice. I could tell that the kids were from a lower-income family. So is that why their manners were so bad? I was from a really poor family, but there is no freakin' way I'd ask a stranger to use their bathroom or for a drink! If I had to go, I would hold it and rush home, or find a public bathroom. Seriously! I mean.....WTF!
2 comments:
That's funny! We had two kids come by that were raising money for American Diabetes Assn a couple of weeks ago when it was ridiculously hot. I was getting my checkbook and asked them if they wanted to come inside, and they immediately said 'No thank you.'
I know they were probably told to never go inside anyone's house, and I completely agree with that line of thought, but it kinda hurt my feelings that they thought that I was one of "those" people, you know?
So maybe you should be flattered that he took a shit in your house? :)
When ya gotta go... ya gotta go. You must just look like a really nice Mom-like person. :-)
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