Tales from the 'Hood....Motherhood.

More from Ella...

2010-08-07T22:19:00.003-05:00

I'm slacking again. I know. I suck.
Lately, when the kids say something funny, I will run to my laptop, and open a new Post-It note on my screen, and type whatever it is that they said. This is the easiest way for me to remember, because, well....my laptop is always open and on. (I have a slight addiction to Facebook. But really, who doesn't?)
So, here's a few of the humorous lines from Ella.

*It's morning, and I've already been woken up by Grayson crawling into my bed. I am trying to go back to sleep, and I hear the pitter-patter of little feet in the hallway. It's Ella.
"Good morning!" she says very loudly.
"Wow," I say. "You sure are perky this morning."
"I was born to be perky," she says.

*I was forced to move our couch to a different spot in the living room, to keep the kids from climbing on it and using it as a ladder to get onto the kitchen table. I asked Ella, "What do you think Daddy will say about where I moved the couch?"
"What the Hell?" she replies.

*When deciding who should read a book to her, Brady or me, Ella says, "You're both really great and I love you. I don't want any of you to be sad that you didn't get to read me a book. So I vote for....Mama."

*Ella: "How do you say, 'go,' in English?"
Me: "Go."
Ella: "How do you say it in Spanish?"
Me: "Vamanos."
Ella: "No, that means, 'let's go'."
I just stare at her for a few seconds.

*I overhear Ella and Grayson talking in my bedroom, while they are watching cartoons.
Ella says to Grayson, "The barber is where you get a haircut. Oh, and you get to play dominoes."

Ella is busy, busy, busy!

2010-06-17T21:29:00.007-05:00

This week has been filled with activity....at least for Ella. It was a week filled with tee ball, swimming lessons, and summer camp. Poor Grayson, though, just got to hang out.

Monday's tee ball game was cancelled due to rain. And the rain is another issue for another day. Let's just say Mother Nature and I are on the "outs." Friday is Ella's last tee ball game of the summer. I can't believe she's done already! She seemed to enjoy it, but who knows. She's 5. She changes her opinion every 30 minutes!

Tuesday was the first swim lesson of the summer at Miller Aquatics. She was super excited! She loves the water. However she's still a little apprehensive about putting her head all the way in the water. We made sure that she was in the same session as one of our friends from C.A.R.E. in hopes that it might make it more fun. It's always easier to go into a new situation if you know someone else, right? When we got there, a little boy from her preschool class was there too. She's sorta indifferent to B. Sometimes she says he's nice, but mostly she stays away from him because he's "mean."

Wednesday, Ella had her first taste of summer camp. She is attending Eco Adventure Camp at Homer Lake. It's only one day a week for 1 1/2 hours, but it's still camp. Again, she was very excited, and again, we had a friend sign up for the same class. One of the boys from preschool, Bryson, is also in the camp class. In fact, because his mom runs a home daycare, I offered to take Bryson to and from camp for her. And again, when we got there, we discovered another boy from her preschool enrolled in this camp. What's humorous, is that the other boy, Andrew, is the boy who Ella had decided 9 months ago was to be her husband. Now, she's decided she's going to marry Bryson. (Collin was in between these two, BTW) I'm fine with her new choice. Bryson is adorable, nice, and doesn't seem to be one of those "mean" boys. And the fact that I like his family puts icing on the cupcake! (I didn't much care for Andrew's family).
Today, she had another swim lesson. Her teacher said that she was head-under a few times today. Yes! My hope is that by the end of summer, she'll be able to actually move a few feet under water - actually swimming!

Tomorrow we are hoping to get a playdate in with Ella's best friend, Eleni and her family. It's going to be a hot one, so I'm thinking a trip to the park early in the morning might be our best bet. Eleni's younger brother is a few months younger than Grayson, so both of my kids get someone to play with. It doesn't hurt that Eleni's mom, Sarah, is super-nice too!

There is a summer festival at Ella's preschool tomorrow night. (I probably should stop calling it "Ella's preschool" since she's done with it, but oh well). There is going to be food, bouncies, a dog Frisbee show of some sort, and other random stuff. But with it being the last night of tee ball, I'm thinking we'll skip the festival.

So while Ella is having all this fun, poor Grayson is just hanging out with me. I had planned on taking him on a nature hike while she was at camp Wednesday. However, Grayson injured his toe on Tuesday afternoon. I have no idea how it happened, but he tore a chunk of skin off the bottom of his toe while playing in our backyard. It's bandaged, and is finally starting to harden over, but I wasn't going to chance him stepping in a mud puddle and soaking it. He was not happy about not getting to go on a hike, but he got over it. Plus, he gets super sweaty feet, and no band-aid would have held up to that! I'm letting him out of his "cage" (he had to sit in the car with me today at swim lessons) to run and play tomorrow. I'm crossing my fingers the toe will be fine.

It's no vacation here!

2010-06-03T10:40:00.002-05:00

Summer vacation is here. Why do they call it that? I'm thinking this summer is going to be in no way/shape/form a vacation for me.

I've listened to moms complain year after year about having their kids home for summer. I've never really understood what the big deal was all about. Unless you are a working parent, and have to worry about getting a babysitter, summer should be a piece of cake! Summer gives you plenty of time to bond with your kids. You can go swimming, hang out outside at the park or the zoo. Unless you have no planned activities, you can just go with the flow. Everyone should love summer, right? Oh how naive I was.

This is Ella's second "summer vacation." Last year, we traveled a lot. Grayson was still a little guy, only being 2, and just wanted to run around outside. He didn't care where we were, he just wanted to run. I made things easy by filling up the swimming pools and letting the kids loose in the backyard. I grilled hot dogs for lunch, and provided lots of Popsicles. Many times, I made up excuses as to why we couldn't go outside to play....on days when I was just not interested in being in the heat.

This summer is a whole new experience already, and it's only been a week! The kids are constantly fighting with each other. Grayson is older now, so he's talking back, and standing up for himself. They've been driving me crazy, and I've been yelling a lot more than usual.

Both kids are already asking to go places other than the backyard - the zoo, a museum, the mall (Ella's asking for this one), the park, a friend's house, the gym.....anywhere that's not here. As much as I love going places, it's not always possible. I've got chores to do at home. Sometimes I'm tired and just want to chill on the couch. Lately, it's been raining a lot. I could let them go outside and get muddy in the backyard, or at the park, but I really don't want to.

With luck, our pool will be finished in a couple weeks, and that might make things easier. But if I know my son, he'll want to be in it ALL THE TIME. Which means I'll have to be in it ALL THE TIME. Grayson doesn't understand that sometimes, Mommy has other things to do. As nice as it would be to lounge in the pool all day, it's not possible.

I'm working on setting up playdates for Ella...perhaps on a weekly schedule. I'll let a friend come over on a Wednesday, if Ella can go to their house on a Friday. My other mom-friends understand and are going through the same thing with their kids. We know that we need to stick together to make it through the next 3 months, or we'll all be medicated by the 4th of July!

I was hoping for a care-free, laid-back sort of summer. That's not going to happen. I need to make a plan, and follow through. Damn it!

I. Will. Try. Harder. Promise.

2010-06-01T21:58:00.002-05:00

There are days when I can't believe I wanted to be a writer. I can't even keep a journal or a blog! I need to get with it. I started this to document my family's life....I have not done a very good job. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I am going to try harder. I really am.

Ella is a walking commercial

2010-03-08T21:57:00.003-06:00

Ella loves to talk. She loves to sing. She loves to hum...especially at the dinner table while she's eating. It drives me crazy, but it's a little cute too. She makes up her own songs and melodies all the time.

When she was younger, she would sing commercial jingles. At first it was just a few lines from the commercial, then it progressed to the whole thing. One of her favorites is the "Five Dollar Footlong" song from the Subway commercials.

This morning, I heard her reciting something familiar. I had her repeat it, and I almost fell over laughing. I made her do it again so I could get a video, and here it is:

"You cut, rip and tear. But your brownies never turn out square. Need a hand? Now there's brownie pan!"

Happy Birthday Grayson!!

2010-02-10T10:38:00.000-06:00

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the slide show I made for Little Man's 3rd birthday!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Joys of raising a boy.

2010-02-03T10:39:00.004-06:00

When I found out I was pregnant with Grayson, I was excited to be having a boy. "Now I'll have one of each," I thought. I was a little worried about caring for a baby with a penis though. I had no experience with that. I'd never babysat a baby boy, and I knew there were going to be things I couldn't explain from a personal perspective to this little man of mine.

In his infant years, I remember changing Grayson's poopy diapers and being amazed at all the places the poop could settle. I really had no idea there were so many folds and crevices on a male scrotum. I guess I never really paid attention to it before. But really? I had no reason to.

I remember the first time I saw his morning infant erection. I like to call it his "baby-wood." (I'm horrible, I know.) It sorta freaked me out. I didn't think he could do that at such an early age.

I've tried to ask Brady about certain things, and he's no help. I don't know if he's uncomfortable talking about this stuff, or what. He never urinates in front of Grayson, and so the poor kid really has no idea about the whole "stand to pee" thing.

A few weeks ago, we were at my parent's house. My nephew and niece were there too. I was changing my nephew's diaper and Grayson was watching with interest. It has only been recent that Grayson has realized his pee-pee is different from Ella's. He's starting to discover himself more. I hadn't realized that since this new "discovery" that he hasn't seen another penis. A few days after he saw me change that diaper, he said something that took me a few seconds to figure out.

I was changing Grayson's diaper. He sat up and was touching his penis. He said, "I have it like Lucian." He was saying that he and Lucian have the same parts. I told him "Yes! You and Lucian both have the same pee-pee! Good job." I was excited that he noticed the similarity.

There have been a few times where he is sitting on the potty before bath-time, and after peeing, he pulls on his penis and looks at the head. "Yuck!" he says. Poor kid.

About a week ago, I had him on the potty in the morning. He had a dry diaper when he woke up, and I wanted to take advantage. It was cold in the bathroom, and I wasn't prepared for what I was going to see.

I was squatted in front of Grayson to make sure there was no random flying pee, and while I watched, I saw shrinkage in action. It was crazy. I could actually see one testicle move inside the scrotum, and then the other one. They pulled up close to his body and then the skin surrounding them shrank so quickly I would have missed it if I'd have blinked. I'd never seen this happen before. I knew it did, but I'd never witnessed it.

Apparently it scared Grayson. He looked at me and with a very worried voice he said, "Momma, what happened to my belly?" I touched his belly and said, "Here?" "No, there" he said as he touched his penis. "It's ok," I told him. I had no idea how to explain what we both just witnessed to an almost 3 year-old.

I know as Grayson gets bigger there will be more questions that I won't be able to answer. I just hope that my husband gets over his feelings of awkwardness for talking to the boy about these things. I certainly can't explain how things are supposed to happen or feel.

Snow Silliness!

2010-01-17T22:11:00.001-06:00

This is the first time the kids have been in the snow this winter.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Quick update on the kids

2009-12-29T21:50:00.004-06:00

What have my kids been up to these days? Let me think?

Ella has a new friend, Cara. She wants to be just like her, so much so that to copy Cara's ankle bracelet, she put a few hair bands on her ankle. I made her take them off for fear of loss of circulation to her foot!

Grayson has learned to spit, and feels the need to do it all the time. Tonight he spit on on coffee table, then covered it up with a pillow. I watched the whole thing with disbelief.

Ella got a Tag reading system for Christmas, and is now excited because, "I can read, Mommy!"

Grayson finally got his train table. He saw one in a Toys R Us ad about two months ago, and became OBSESSED. He opened an early Christmas present from Verizon, and threw it across the room after discovering it WASN'T a train table.

Ella thinks that the answer to every question is located in my computer. When she asks me a question that I don't know the answer to, she says, "Let's find out on the computer! It knows everything!"

Grayson loves to sing the ABC song. Often, throughout the day, you can hear him singing it, and it makes you smile every time! He can also count to 20, but I'm not bragging, or anything.

Ella: "Mommy, how old are you?"
Me: "Thirty-two."
Ella: "Wow. You've had A LOT of birthdays!"

Grayson also attempts to sing Jingle Bells and Rudolph, and again....I smile.

Bathtub fun!

2009-11-16T14:24:00.001-06:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Halloween 2009

2009-11-13T16:14:00.002-06:00

I'm a little late getting these on here, but better late than never!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Playground Fun

2009-11-13T15:51:00.000-06:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Bad reflexes

2009-11-11T09:59:00.005-06:00

Last Friday, I had to make a run to Wal-Mart. Aubry, my niece, was staying with us, so that meant me, plus 3 kids - not an easy task. On our way out of the store, I was thankful our trip was uneventful. Then it happened.

Ella fell down right outside the doors onto the cement. She was right at my feet, and I looked down to see if she was ok. Then, as if my brain wasn't working right, I watched in slow motion, as I ran over her hand with the shopping cart. She was crushed by the back wheel that was supporting the weight of my son (35 lbs), a box of diapers, and a 20 pound turkey.

Of course she was screaming, and her hand immediately turned blue and purple. I was worry it was broken. Wouldn't that be something to tell the doctor: "Yes, it is my fault. I saw her hand on the ground right by the back wheel of the shopping cart, but for some reason, I ran over it anyway."

I gave her a bag of carrots to put on it, and the crying stopped by the time we had gotten home. She was going to be fine. Thank goodness. I, however, still feel like crap about it.

"Ella, what are these?"

2009-10-23T17:18:00.002-05:00

This morning I was helping Ella get dressed. Next to her bed is a play kitchen. While she was putting on her pants I noticed some tiny balls on the top of the kitchen. I picked up one and looked at it wondering what it was. "Could be a seed," I thought. "Could be a dropping from a bug?"As I gathered these 7 or 8 tiny balls, I asked Ella if she knew what they were. This is the conversation that followed:

Me: Honey, do you know what these are?
Ella: Yes. Those are my boogers.
Me: What? These are your boogers?
Ella: Yeah.
Me: Ella, why do you have boogers up here? Were you saving them?
Ella: Yeah. I was making a pile of them.
Me: Why?
Ella: So I could make a booger monster.

At this point I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

Me: Honey! That is gross. We don't keep our boogers! We throw them away. (At which point I did - throw them away.)
Ella: Mom! Don't get rid of them! I need them!
Me: No. Ella. You don't. How long were you collecting your boogers, anyway?
Ella: Twenty years.
Me: So you wanted to make a booger monster?
Ella: Yup.
Me: And how many boogers does it take to make a booger monster?
Ella: Fourteen.
Me: And what were you going to do with the booger monster when you made him?
Ella: It was gonna be HUGE! And it was going to be Unicorn vs. Booger Monster!
Me: It's time to brush your teeth for school. No more collecting boogers, 'kay?
Ella: But Mom!
Me: Brush your teeth.

OK. So my kid is 5. She picks her nose. Don't even try to tell me your 5 year old son or daughter has never done that. But, how many of your kids could come up with such an elaborate story for why she was doing it? I thought so. I've got one very imaginative daughter!

What Ails Me

2009-10-23T13:17:00.003-05:00

I hate it when my kids are sick.

I am not a hypochondriac....well not too much of one. If I feel a pain, or have a cough/sneeze/sniffle, I don't assume it is something more. But when it comes to my kids, I worry.

Ella and Grayson are not very sickly children. I have never had to hospitalize either of them for an illness, and they have never had to use nebulizer treatments. I can count on one hand the number of confirmed ear infections Grayson has had. And although Ella gets a bit of seasonal allergies in the spring, she has only missed one day of preschool due to illness in 1 1/2 years.

I try to let little things slide. If Ella has a runny nose, I give her tissues. If she has a cough, I give her a lozenge. If Grayson has a stuffy nose, I give him a decongestant. Although I am a firm believer in taking a pill to make myself feel better, I have been trying to go easy on meds when it comes to the kids.

Yesterday, Grayson had a cold hit him very quickly in the afternoon. I gave him some Advil thinking his symptoms might be teething related. He wouldn't eat his dinner, spaghetti-his favorite, and he only wanted to be near me. After his bath, he passed out in my bed. His body was so hot to the touch. I HATE that. Although I know he can feel that way, and still not have a fever, it still scares me.

This morning he woke up screaming around 5:30, and he was still so hot. I slipped some more Advil into a sippy-cup with juice, and snuggled with him on the couch. His eyes were red, he wasn't speaking very clearly, and his kept saying he hurt, but I couldn't tell where.

He had this same type of problem about a month ago, and the doctor gave him anti-biotics because he had an infection on his tonsils. I thought that maybe this was the same thing again, so I decided to take him to the doctor right away.

I always have an internal struggle with whether or not I should take the kids to the doctor. Do I drive all the way over to Christie on Windsor and pay $15 if my kids just needs some rest and Tylenol? What if it is something more and they need Amoxicillian? Should I wait a day? Should I take him/her to the ER? If I wait, and they get worse, will I feel like a bad mom for not knowing/doing better? ARGH!

I took Ella to preschool, and drove Grayson to the doctor's office. Of course, wouldn't you know it, he starts acting better on the way over. "Look Mommy! Leaves!" "Look Mommy! A pond!" He wouldn't take a snack, but he chugged a cup of juice.

He played with all the germ-infested toys in the waiting room. I say "all" when there really is only two. I sprayed them down with my Lysol-to-Go spray, and gave him GermX too. I'm no fool. There was a sign posted on the door to the preschool stating they had multiple children with "probable" cases of H1N1, and one kid with chicken pox. Nice.

The doctor tells me the Little Man has a cold. Well, there is another $15 down the Peace of Mind Toilet. I ask her what I have to do to get my kids their flu shots, because there seems to be a shortage, and my son is a thumb-sucker. Can you say, "Germ Mania"! She said he can get both his flu and H1N1 shot right then. Wow! I am impressed, and relieved. I decide that this is going to be the best chance for Ella to get hers, and set up an appointment for this afternoon.

Poor Grayson. Normally he does really well with shots. Today, not so much. One shot in each arm had him screaming at the top of his lungs and crying some of the biggest tears I've ever seen. Before the nurse gave him the painful arm pricks, he had asked me for a Thomas the Train sticker. The last time we were there, he left with two. This time there was a poor selection in the basket. I asked the nurse if she could look for one in another room. She wasn't sure if she could find one, but said she'd try. After his screaming started, she practically bolted out of the door in a mad search for Thomas. She came back a few minutes later, but my pained child refused to take the sticker. When I tried to give it to him, he turned away, as though he was thinking, "I know that is coming from the evil lady with yellow hair. She hurt me, and I don't want anything from her."

Grayson fell asleep on the way home, with an empty belly and two Garfield band-aids covering his "wounds." He slept for a short time in his bed, and is now, as I type this, sleeping on the couch in a pool of sweat. I hear him moan every now and then, but he's not awake. I feel so bad for him. It's so hard to help a child when they cannot quite put into words what is hurting them.

Brady should be back soon from taking Ella for her flu shot and H1N1 nasal mist. I'm hoping that went well, or there could be a new Barbie appearing later today.

Am I doing the right thing by having them vaccinated for the H1N1 flu? I sure hope so. I am not a doctor or a nurse. I am just a mother trying to do what is best for her kids.

Curtis Orchard 2009

2009-10-19T12:16:00.002-05:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Ella's 5th Birthday

2009-10-14T14:01:00.002-05:00

Hair I Am

2009-10-02T15:46:00.009-05:00

I am a hairy gal. I don't like this fact, but there is nothing I can do about it. Well, that's not true. For thousands of dollars, I could have laser hair removal, but I don't have thousands of dollars. (Wanna loan me some?). I have thick, coarse, dark hair, and shaving is not an easy task. I get razor burn easily. I have to use a men's razor, because those girly, pretty ones don't do a good enough job.

When I was in college, I had surgery on both of my legs at the same time. The scar tissue on my legs from the operation was so sensitive, that shaving was painful. Even now, over 10 years later, just touching those areas on my legs is uncomfortable.

So. Shaving my legs is not too high up on my priority list. It's slightly painful in some spots, and the hair grows entirely too fast.

Now, shaving the armpits is a different story. I don't have scar tissue to worry about, I just have crazy razor burn. Don't try to give me ideas on how to prevent it - I've tried everything. I am not one of you lucky people who can shave her armpits every day. No sirree. Once every three days is the best I can do. If I were to do it two days in a row, I'd be screaming in the shower.

When the weather is cool enough for me to be in jeans and long-sleeved shirts, it makes me happy. I can hide my embarrassing hair issues (except the facial hair, but that's a hormone thing, and a story for another day) and feel a little more confidant.

"Sarah, why are you sharing all this personal information with us" you ask? I'll tell you why.

I walked into my almost-five-year-old daughter's room the other day, and she was drawing a picture. She was very excited to show me.

"Look Mommy, I drew a picture of you!"

"You did?" I said. "That's great, baby! Let me see." She shows me this:

"It's beautiful," I said. "What is this? Hair?"

"Oh yes!" she says. "That's your armpit hair."

*Dramatic pause by me.*

"My armpit hair?" "Why would you draw my armpit hair?" I ask.

"Because your armpits are always hairy."

"But maybe Mommy doesn't like her armpits being hairy," I said.

"Oh, but I love your hairy armpits, Mommy!" Ella says, drawing another picture of me.

At least one of us does.

Take Two

2009-09-21T09:08:00.002-05:00

Last year, when I started this blog, I wrote in my first post that I was horrible about keeping up with a journal. Apparently, the same applies to a blog. If I have spare time, my mind just wants to chill out, not form complex sentences and type big words. It's odd - the girl who wanted nothing more as a child then to write, is tired of writing.

Ella is back in preschool for the year. My new goal with this blog, is to post at least one entry a week, during the time she is in school. She goes three days a week now, so my chances of maintaining this blog have gone up. We'll see how well I do.

Rump Shaker

2009-05-05T21:38:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, while I was looking through racks of clothes at Wal-Mart, Ella says:
"Mommy, I want my booty to shake."
"What?" I ask.
"I want my booty to shake up and down. Like that lady over there."
I didn't see anybody, and I said, "You want your what?"
"I want my booty to shake like that lady and like you. You're booty goes up and down when you walk. And that lady's does too."
Hmm. Thanks, Ella.

A new bed for Grayson

2009-04-16T21:39:00.005-05:00

Grayson has been climbing out of his crib for a while now. I put a child safety door knob cover on the inside of his door. That way, if he were to get out of bed in the middle of the night, at least he'd be confined to his room.

For about a week, he would surprise me by getting out of his crib around 10:30 or 11 at night, turning his light on, and playing in his room. I figured that if he was going to keep this up, and least I could give him the option of getting back into bed when he was tired.

I put up his "big boy" bed the other day, and he couldn't be happier! He sleeps all night, and he has even gone down for a nap without my knowing. He just got into his bed one afternoon, and fell asleep!

He's growing up so fast!

Ella speaks....

2009-04-07T20:19:00.003-05:00

We were watching Wall-E the other day. Ok. It is actually played at least once a day, but rarely do I get to watch. Anywho...There was a screen shot of the Milky Way.

Ella: "What is that Mommy?"

Me: "The Milky Way."

Ella: "Oh! Of course! It's white...must be milky."

Me: "Uh-huh."

Ella: "Is there a Chocolate Way?"

Good morning, Ladybug.

2009-03-24T11:27:00.004-05:00

This morning, I had to wake Ella up for school.

"Ladybug," I said. "Wake up. It's time to get up for school."

She rubbed her eyes, rolled over, then said "Everything comes to life when..."

"What?" I asked, rubbing her back.

She looked at me with a face that I love. She has the most amazing "morning" face. She looks so rested and her eyes are so full of peace.

"What did you say, honey?" I asked her.

She looked off into space as if she was going to choose her next words very carefully. "Everything comes to life. Everything comes to life when I just dream about them."

Lazy day

2009-03-18T19:42:00.002-05:00

I think everyone needs a day now and then where they do absolutely nothing. No phone calls, chores, or errands. Today was one of those days for me.

Ella had a mild cold, then 2 days later, Grayson got it. So last night, he decided to get up about 4 (of course I took a nap yesterday, which meant I didn't get to sleep until 1) and I was too tired to deal with his "I'm-awake-let's-play-jump-eat-watch tv" craziness. I turned on cartoons and took cat naps on the couch while he crawled all over me.

It was no surprise when Grayson crashed out for his nap about 10 o'clock this morning. I decided to take his nap time to hang out with Ella. We watched "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium," and ate homemade Rice Krispie treats, made with the new Krispies that are 3x bigger and have a hint of honey. (They were okay.)

We had such a good time snuggling on the couch and talking about the movie. Before we knew it, it was lunch time and Grayson was still asleep. I didn't wake him. We stayed on the couch for some more snuggle time watching "Martha Speaks."

Grayson finally woke up about 3, and he was feeling so much better. I gave him his favorite snack, raisins, and then settled on the couch with my two favorite snuggle bugs for a few episodes of "Little Einsteins."

I had lots of things I needed to do today, but I had lots more fun just doing nothing with the kids.

Enjoying the nice weather

2009-03-17T11:00:00.003-05:00

We were finally able to get outside and enjoy the warmer weather this weekend. The kids were itching to get out their backyard toys and play. Here's some pictures from Sunday and Monday.

This is my new favorite photo of Ella.

How do I know he really loves me?

2009-03-08T21:30:00.004-05:00

My husband loves to watch movies. He has the preferred members card at Blockbuster. I think he rents 3-4 a week. I have two major problems with his rental addiction:

1. We pay over a hundred dollars a month to get every channel on DirecTV. I don't even know how many movie channels we have. It's crazy. He should be saving his money on rentals, and using the DVR more.

2. He never rents movies I want to see. He likes his stupid parody movies such as Meet the Spartans, and Scary Movie. He likes violent movies such as Crank, Transporter, and The Dark Knight. He likes horror movies, and luckily, so do I. But does he ever bring home a romantic comedy for me? Hardly ever. I think the last one he brought home was Fool's Gold. It was ok, but I think he just wanted to see Kate Hudson's ass. How can I blame him really....she has a nice ass. Really, I wish my ass looked like hers.

He came home on Friday with 3 movies. I don't know why I get my hopes up when he says he rented movies. I'm always looking for something that will make me say, "Oh honey! You actually got something for me!" This trip brought home: Beverly Hills Chihuahua, My Best Friend's Girl, and Body of Lies. The first movie was for Ella. The second was one he had previously rented, but not had a chance to see. The third movie was one that I thought I might actually like, but I still heard myself say, "You didn't get something I would want to watch?"

His reply was quick, and his motions fast. Without skipping a beat he said, "Since I didn't get a movie for you, I got you these instead." He whips out a box of candy. Not just any candy, mind you. Twilight Sweethearts!!

I was in shock. Not only had he thought about me, he actually bought me something with the word "Twilight" on it. This from the man who threatened to burn my books because I was so obsessed with reading them, that I ignored all my "duties" around the house.
It's the little things he does that shows how much he cares!

Pocket Edward gets a bath

2009-02-13T08:35:00.001-06:00

Lauren has been up to it again....or Pocket Edward has.

Grayson turns 2!

2009-02-11T12:29:00.008-06:00

Grayson's party is on Saturday, but I decided he needed a cake on his actually birthday. I made this cake, which was supposed to be a panda bear, but I ran short on time and tried to make it into a dog. Of course he wanted nothing to do with the cake, so we'll see how well he does at his party.

Ni Hao, Ella!

2009-02-05T09:37:00.003-06:00

On a normal school day, Ella usually wears her hair in a pony tail, or braids. This morning, she asked for Ni Hao, Kai-lan hair. She never really asks for a certain hair style, so I usually just do whatever I want. Same with her clothes. I never have to fight her to wear something. I just pick out her clothes and she puts them on. I hope this new hairdo isn't a step in the, "No, Mommy! I don't want to wear THAT!" direction.

Check out "Cooking with Pocket Edward"

2009-02-03T12:40:00.006-06:00

Ok. Everyone and their grandma knows I'm obsessed with Twilight and everything/person/story/interview/video

that goes along with it.

I religiously check out Confessions of a TwiCrack Addict daily.

Today I found a link to another Twilight blog: Lauren's Bite. She has done a wonderful job creating "Cooking with Pocket Edward." I would love to take her idea and run with it - but I need a pocket Edward first. Anyway....check out her chicken enchiladas. They look yummy, and the pocket Edward is such a great assistant.

What a wonderful day!

2009-01-30T10:01:00.004-06:00

Dino

2009-01-28T10:42:00.005-06:00

I hooked up a webcam yesterday. It is for a laptop, so it's not mounted, but it stills serves it's purpose. The kids were fascinated by it this morning. Here's the first product from the new toy.

Yummy!

2009-01-23T20:47:00.003-06:00

I bought a 12-pack of this soda, Diet Sunkist Sparkling Lemonade, today at Wal-Mart. I had never heard of it before, and it caught my eye. All I can tell you people is....It is freaking amazing! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!! It only has 5 calories and no grams of fat, and yet I'm sure it is bad for me, but OH MY! it is tasty!

It took me forever to find a picture of the can on-line. According to random comments on random websites, this soda is really hard to find. Lucky me!

It's very crisp and, (if possible), sassy!

Where's the snow?

2009-01-23T09:00:00.003-06:00

January is almost over. Spring is only a few months away. Most of you are super excited about this, but I am not.

I want some freakin' snow! I want to be able to go outside with my kids and play. I want to build a snowman. I want to throw snowballs at the dog. I want to see the kids go down the slide and plop into a pile of pretty, white, fluffy snow!

I bought all the essential winter items in early November - snow boots, snow pants, hats that Velcro under the chin, and I even searched all over the area until I found the coats I wanted - they had to have elastic on the inside with snaps so that the snow wouldn't creep up under the coat.

The kids have worn their boots two times, and the snow pants are still hanging in the closet collecting dust.

Grayson has never played in snow. Ella looks at pictures of winters past and asks when she can go outside and play.

The few times that we've had enough snow for them to play in, the weather wouldn't cooperate. I couldn't send them outside in 18 degree-below temperatures, and then there was the time that it all melted in 24 hours. Yesterday was the first day that I would have considered going outside and playing. But what happened? All the freakin' snow melted!

Two days after Grayson was born, we got about 8 inches of snow. I can only hope that happens again this year. And that the temperature is high enough to allow us some play time outside, yet low enough for the snow not to melt.

*Yes, all these photos are from last year!

Damn you, VZW!

2009-01-15T12:20:00.003-06:00

We moved to St. Joseph over 4 years ago. In the beginning, I did not know anyone. All my friends were back home (okay...I had, like, four). Ella was a baby, and it was winter. The fact that Brady was "on-call" every 6 weeks didn't bother me so much. I had no social calendar, and we worked trips back home around his work schedule.

Over these last 4 years, his company has had employees come and go. It's great when they get a new employee - it takes some of the work off of Brady, and he actually makes it home for dinner at a decent time. What isn't so great, is how much this change in employees alters his "on-call" schedule.

He went from being on-call every 6 weeks (one week as a back-up, one week as a primary) to being on call every 4 weeks. Then it went back to every 5 weeks, but he was the primary person for two-week periods. I don't even know how many times things have changed. If one of the guys wants to go on vacation, they can trade on-call with someone, which means that he could be on-call for 3 weeks in a row. Right now, I think, he is on call every 2 weeks. One week as primary, and one week as backup. But I could be wrong.

I am trying to have a social life. I want to do things with my new-found friends down here. I want to schedule meetups and go for moms' nights out. However, my husband's crazy work schedule is ruining my chances of doing these things. I've stopped asking him what the new on-call schedule is....his answer is always the same, "I don't fucking know."

Why don't I just get a baby-sitter, you ask? Let me tell you. Just because he's on-call doesn't mean he'll be called out. So why would I pay a baby-sitter to come to my home to watch my kids, when their dad is right there. So what if I leave the kids at home with him while he is on call? If he gets called out, he needs to leave ASAP. The chances of getting a sitter over here in 20 minutes is impossible - teens these days have crazy, busy lives.

I have ventured out of the house by myself while he was on call a few times. Each time, I am only 15 minutes away, and my cell phone is always in my pocket on vibrate. I am the one "on-call," and I'm not getting paid for it.

Verizon Wireless is killing my attempt to be social.

Christmas photos

2009-01-08T19:44:00.003-06:00

I have not blogged in so long....I really am at a loss trying to think of a topic. I have decided to share some pictures from our family Christmas a few weeks ago. It was a full house, but we had a good time.

Grayson giving Lucian a friendly pat. The not-so-friendly ones came a little later.

Ella wonders what present to open next.

Lucian and Aubry play with the race track.

Ella loves her new guitar.

Grayson takes a well-deserved break.

Lucian is bright-eyed!

Aunt Caroline reads to Grayson.

Papa naps while Ella plays her new Leapster 2.

Out of all the toys, his favorite came with a tube of candy.

Oops, I did it again.

2009-01-04T16:27:00.003-06:00

Every time I try to keep a journal, I fall behind. I don't know why, I just do.
This time, I've fallen behind on this blog. I curse myself everyday for it, yet I can't seem to bring myself to write anything.
I am not a fan of New Year resolutions, but I actually have one for this year. I will try my hardest to keep up the blog. I will not be such a slacker. If I miss more than 5 days without an entry, will someone please send me messages howling at me? I'd allow you a kick in the butt, however, I know some of you wear big boots and I'm not all about that pain that leaves marks!

Don't Drink The Water

2008-12-10T17:38:00.004-06:00

Recently, Quigs and I were talking about my lack of knowledge with current top 40 music. When she asked what I listen to, I said older stuff. Well, let's see if this proves it.

1. Put your iPod or whatever music player you have on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 5 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from. Let them know they've been tagged.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY? Wonder by Natalie Merchant

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? I Write the Songs by Barry Manilow

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Sweetheart by Mariah Carey

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? What About Love by Heart

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?You Can't Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Mr. Bassman (And Piano Girl) by Laurie Berkner

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Waterloo by ABBA

WHAT IS 2+2? The Longest Time by Billy Joel

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? The Song That Jane Likes by Dave Matthews Band

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Hasta Manana by ABBA

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Stay or Leave by Dave Matthews Band

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Unwell by Matchbox 20

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Recently by Dave Matthews Band

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Answer Me, My Love by Joni Mitchell

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Old Dirt Hill by Dave Matthews Band

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? They Do, They Don't by Jack Johnson

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Melissa by Dave Matthews Band

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? We Belong by Pat Benatar

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Keep On by The Brady Bunch

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Mouse In My Toolbox by Laurie Berkner

HOW WILL YOU DIE? Afternoon Delight by Starland Vocal Band

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? Head to Toe by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Daydream Believer by The Monkees

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Cherish by Madonna

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? Bootylicious by Destiny's Child

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? The Best of What's Around by Dave Matthews Band

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? Sad Songs by Elton John

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Every Rose Has It's Thorn by Poison

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? American Girl by Tom Petty

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? Don't Drink The Water by Dave Matthews Band

5 People I Tag:
HarleyQuinny
Lavender Lemonade
Looseyfur
Fearless Freak
IzzyMom

Uh-oh!

2008-11-24T10:00:00.001-06:00

"We didn't do it!"

"Well, maybe HE did."

Spotted Dick

2008-11-12T19:47:00.004-06:00

This past spring, I was shopping in Meijer and found myself in the aisle with foods from around the world. I stopped short when something caught my eye: Spotted Dick in a can. I took a picture and sent it to a few people who I knew would laugh like 6th graders over it (like I did).

I bought the can because, really, how could I not? I got text messages that day from those select people who thought I had found the picture on the internet. They were surprised to find out that this actually did exist and that I bought it.

A few weeks ago, my parents were at my house and I remembered that I still had the can of Spotted Dick in the pantry. My dad told me that in England, "dick" also means pudding. Before I realized what he was doing, he started preparing the "pudding."

Surprisingly, it was really good. It was sorta like a bread pudding with raisins in it. It could have used some sort of sauce with it, but that didn't stop me or my family from taking more than a few bites.

Maybe next time I'm at the store, I'll look for some more dick in the aisle. I wonder how many flavors of dick are out there? Who knew Mejer sold such good dick? I could go on and on...LOL!

There's a party in my tummy!

2008-11-06T19:26:00.002-06:00

I love this song. I can't get it out of my head, and I even bought Ella a shirt to encourage the fun!

It's all random

2008-11-06T09:24:00.005-06:00

I haven't been much in the mood for blogging these days. I don't know why. But I figured since it's been a while, I should put something on here. So this is just some random stuff that's been going on.

Over the weekend, my family came down to visit. I don't see them as much these days as I did when I was planning the wedding, so it's nice to get together. I got to give my niece Aubry her first haircut. She will be 4 years old on December 2nd and she hasn't had a haircut until this point - she was a bald baby. She did really good until I was about 1/2 way done and then she started to get nervous. It was just a trim, but her mom was scraping all the hair into a baggie - it was a big deal for her. She was only a little bit emotional. Nothing like when I gave Ella her major haircut in May.

Yesterday I bought two newspapers with huge front page headlines announcing Obama won the election. I was at the kitchen table reading them while Ella was eating her lunch. She started asking me who the man was in the picture so I explained that he was our new president and that he would be our leader. Surprisingly she seemed to get it. I showed her a picture of the U.S. and told her that he was going to be the leader of our country and she just kept saying his name over and over. At first it was "Rock Obama," but after a few times sounding it out, she had it right.

She had show-and-tell today, and she said she wanted to take a picture of Barack to school. They had to bring something starting with the letter "B" and she said that since his name started with that letter that she wanted to take him to school. I convinced her that he was a very busy man and that she could take his picture. She repeatedly told me that she wanted to see him and asked why he couldn't come to our house. "Can I see him one day, Momma?" she asked. "One day?" I smiled at her and said, "One day, baby. Maybe one day you can see him."

When I took her to school this morning, we washed her hands, and I gave her kisses goodbye. I told her to go play and she said, "I have to tell Miss Jennifer about Barack Obama." So she walked up to her teacher and said, "Barack Obama!" I think Miss Jennifer was a little taken back by it, and she answered "He won the election, didn't he? Did you vote for him?" Ella of course said yes. I just hope her show-and-tell doesn't go badly. I mean seriously, how many of those 4 & 5 year-olds will understand what my kid does? Probably only a few. Oh well. She is happy with it!

Last night I was in the garage with Brady and the kids were playing nicely inside the house. I didn't hear any screaming so I assumed all was well. After 15 minutes, I came back inside, and I didn't see Grayson. I walked to my bedroom and the door was closed. I assumed that Grayson had just shut himself in the bedroom. Oh no. He had somehow opened the door to our bathroom and was standing in the middle of the floor with a string of wet toilet paper hanging out of his mouth and a giant pool of water on the floor. He was laughing and having a good time of course. I couldn't believe the amount of water on the floor and when I looked in the toilet, all the water was gone and there was a wad of toilet paper in it. He had taken a toy cup for bath time and scooped out all of the water from the toilet. I don't know if he was trying to put the water in the tub, but it certainly didn't make it there. It took 4 huge bath towels to clean up the floor and Grayson was so mad when I stripped off his wet clothes and put him in his crib while I cleaned things up. That's my kid. And I love him.

These are some pictures that Ella has done at school.

Trick-or-Treat!

2008-11-02T07:17:00.004-06:00

On Thursday, Ella had her Halloween party at preschool. She got to wear her monkey costume and trick-or-treat in a parade through the school. She had a lot of fun.

This is a picture of her and Sam, who she talks about all the time.

"Trick or Treat!"

For Halloween, Brady took Ella around the neighborhood. Here, she's posing with the jack-o-lanterns that Brady carved.

Grayson stayed home with me to hand out candy. He didn't want to wear his costume, and was content eating crackers and watching cartoons.

Since we only had 2 pumpkins this year, I told Brady that he had to carve one nice and one scary. If he had his way, they'd both be scary. Ella picked out the evil queen.

For the past few years, we've had tons of kids ring our doorbell for candy on Halloween. Last year I made 140 goodie bags, and I ran out of bags causing me to open another 5 lb. bag and hand out pieces of candy. This year, I made 200 bags. I had 52 left over. Why do I make the bags, you ask? Because I want to know how many kids we get. I was just really surprised at how few trick-or-treaters there were. The weather was great, so I expected the doorbell to ring non-stop. Our trick-or-treat started at 5:30, and our doorbell didn't ring for the first time until 6:03. I don't get it. When the weather is cold and rainy, we get more kids than when it's 65 degrees and sunny? Makes no sense. Oh well. Anyone need some candy?

What's wrong with my clothes?

2008-10-23T08:53:00.003-05:00

When I got pregnant with Ella, I packed away all my "skinny" clothes. By "skinny" I mean size 14. I had spent all of college in 16-18s and after my leg surgery, I'd even been into size 20. So when I was able to buy a size 14 jean from Old Navy, I was on Cloud 9. How funny that I was the thinnest I'd ever been right before I got pregnant. I was so happy with what I call my "woman body." I had sexy curves that I didn't hide. I was the most comfortable with myself that I had ever been in my life.

After Ella's was born, I brought out some of the clothes thinking I'd be able to wear them soon. Oh how wrong I was. It's been 5 years since I've been able to wear those clothes.

In an attempt to make more room in my house, I decided to part ways with my hot, sexy clothes from days gone by. If I am ever that small again, I deserve a brand new wardrobe. I am keeping some of my jeans though....for some reason, I just can't get rid of them.

I decided to take my best stuff to Karen's Kloset, a consignment shop in Champaign. I had never tried to sell anything there before, and I thought it would be easy. Just drop off my clothes and get a check in a few months.

Yesterday, after Ella's doctor appointment, I stopped by KK with about a dozen items. As soon as I walked in the door I felt uncomfortable. The staff, although nice, had a certain....vibe(?) to them that made me uncomfortable.

As I was filling out the necessary forms and reading over their policies (they are going to charge me $5 to pick up the items that don't sell? WTF?) the woman behind the counter was checking over my clothes.

She finished and when I looked over, she had put most of them back in the bag. She said, "Ok. You have 4 items here that I think will sell nicely for you." As she continues her rambling, telling me exactly what I just read, I am angrily wondering what is wrong with my other clothes. The 2 black GAP sweaters I brought in are in great condition. That Eddie Bauer sweater doesn't have a stain on it.

Inside, I'm fuming. How dare this woman not take my clothes! This is a resale shop! Those clothes cost a lot of money! She tells me that in the future, "we ask that when you bring in items, to please have them freshly laundered, pressed, and on hangers." I look around, and all the items in this shop are on black hangers. What are they going to do with the hangers I put them on? And all my clothes were clean and wrinkle-free....I'm not going to bring in clothes smelling like moth-balls.

I should have asked her what the deal was, but I didn't. Seriously, the place made me really uncomfortable, and I just wanted to get out of there. I know I won't be going back except to get whatever money I might make...minus that $5 fee.

Harley Q suggested I try Plato's Closet or EBay. I've never been to PC, and I've never sold anything on the Internet. If any of my friends would like to take these clothes off my hands, I am happy to hand them over. Just let me know.

What a great day!

2008-10-21T09:09:00.005-05:00

The weather on Saturday was great! Brady was able to mow the grass and we set up the playhouse Ella got for her birthday. For the first time in what seemed forever, the bugs were almost non-existent, and we were finally able to play outside. I put all chores aside and spent the entire day outside with the kids. Here's some pictures.

Photos are just easier.

2008-10-17T08:50:00.001-05:00

WTF is this?

2008-10-09T19:07:00.003-05:00

Everyone is talking about how bad the bugs are this year. Monday I was attacked by Pirate bugs. Those tiny bitches still have me scratching my skin raw.

One particular bug that gives me the heebee-geebees is this one. I took this picture in my garage.

I have no idea what it is, but it has overrun our town. We get them every fall, but they seem to be worse this year. I won't take the kids outside to play or even for a walk. As you walk down the sidewalk, they sense you coming, and then swarm. Seriously...they swarm into the air.

I have heard people say that these bugs don't bite humans, that they eat mosquitoes. I don't know about that. What I do know is that they are creepy, and they are all over our front porch. All I can hope for (like Freak) is a frost.

On a funny note, Ella calls them mosquito spiders. If they had a web, she'd be right.

Ella's class photo

2008-10-09T17:13:00.001-05:00

Of course Ella can't be looking at the camera. :)

The Backyardigans Live!

2008-10-09T16:06:00.004-05:00

Last night, I took Ella to see The Backyardigans Tale of The Mighty Knights. I had kept it a secret from her until we got in the car on our way to the Assembly Hall. She was so very excited, and I think I was too.

We had really good seats. Section A, Row 7, seats 8 & 9. I could have gotten us the "prime" seats for more money, but after sitting down, I realized that we were in a great spot. I thought that (based on commercials for the show) that the kids would get to sing and dance in front of the stage, which was the only reason I had even wanted to be on the floor. Come to find out, they could only do that prior to the show and at intermission. So that extra money I could've spent would have been a waste. The show was far from sold out, but there were enough children there screaming to give an average person a headache. Of course, one of the loudest ones sat right behind me...go figure!

At first, I thought the show looked a little cheap. Then I had to step back and think about it. They travel this thing all over the country, only staying at each venue about 2 days. The set obviously has to be easy to put up and take down. Also, these kids didn't notice. They were so excited to see the characters, that the set could have been made of duct tape and paper bags and they still would have had fun.

Ella did really great. She interacted with the show and was standing in front of her chair marching to Dragon Mountain and singing along with the Grabbing Goblin. She got excited when the Flighty Fairy used her magic wand to send bubbles out into the audience. She held up her cardboard shield (given to her at the entrance) and shouted, "We're knights, that's right!" with all the other kids.

On the way home she held her magic light-up wand that I bought for her, and was asleep before we got out of Urbana. When we got home, I put her into her bed and she woke for a moment and said, "Backyardigans, Live!" and closed her eyes.

I don't know if the show was worth the $35 per ticket, but we had a really good Mommy/Daughter evening out. So maybe it was priceless?

Celebrating Ella's birthday at Curtis Orchard

2008-10-07T10:27:00.003-05:00

We went to Curtis Orchard yesterday to celebrate Ella's birthday with some of our friends from C.A.R.E. We were minus a few due to the outbreak of illness in the area; somehow we managed to avoid it and I'm thankful!

One thing we didn't avoid was the horrible infestation of these tiny black biting bugs. According to Harley Quinn, they are called pirate bugs. They were everywhere! On our clothes, in our hair. The kids didn't really seem to notice, but they were running around so I think the bugs couldn't catch them! But all of us moms were constantly swatting them away, or killing the ones that had just bitten us.

Although the bugs put a damper on the afternoon, we still had a nice time seeing our friends.

Pictures from Ella's 4th birthday.

2008-10-07T10:05:00.005-05:00

Auntie Caroline helps the kids with their treasure chest craft.

Grayson plays peek-a-boo.

The cake.

Ahoy!

No one be getting this here treasure!

Ella sneaks a lick of frosting!

Happy birthday to you!

Ella, Grayson, Aubry, and Lucian

Ella's 4th birthday celebration

2008-10-07T09:31:00.003-05:00

We celebrated Ella's 4th birthday over the weekend at my parent's house. It was a nice party. I think my only real complaint is that we had too many people cancel after they said they'd be there. Some people had valid excuses. My grandparents went to North Carolina to be with my Aunt Martha because she had brain surgery on Thursday. Our friend Art's father passed away on Tuesday, and they had family in town for the services. As far as I'm concerned, all the other family and friends' excuses were lame. I had planned the party around a certain amount of people. I planned food, cake, goodie bags, crafts, balloons, and everything in between for all these people, and then they cancel at the last minute. I should know better. This happens all the time. I think I even blogged about it before.

I now have TONS of cake left over. Tons! Ella had asked for a "pirate-dinosaur-mermaid-ocean" party. Of course I had to give her what she wanted - it was her big day. I made this HUGE cake. It was a pirate ship on an ocean sailing to a desert island with a treasure that was guarded by dinosaurs and pirate ghosts. Oh, and there were mermaids in the ocean guarding the island. The cake was great. It wasn't my best, but it was cool. It was also big enough to feed a small army. So if anyone is in the mood for cake, just let me know. I've cut it up, and I'll be freezing it today.

Ella had a good time. It just so happens that the street my parents live on had their annual block party on the same day we chose for Ella's party. There was all kinds of games going on; kids were riding their bikes all over the place; snacks were set up on tables in the street.

Ella loved her cake and all of her gifts. She got to play with her cousin & best friend, Aubry. She got to ride her new bike up and down a safe street. She helped Uncle Troy paint rocks gold for her treasure chest. She really did have a good birthday. And I know that she didn't miss any of the people who didn't attend. Next year, we'll be having her party at our house. She'll have friends from playgroup and school at it, and I'm sure my immediate family will also be there, and I know she'll have another great birthday party.

Ella jokes

2008-09-28T21:46:00.002-05:00

Brady gave Ella a rubber chicken about a month ago. She LOVES it. Sometimes it snuggles her to sleep. I don't know - my kid is weird.

Today she came into the kitchen and said:

"Mom! Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?"

"I don't know. Why did the rubber chicken cross the road, Ella?"

"To get to the rubber side!"

I laughed out loud. My almost-four-year-old is telling funny jokes. It is just another sign that she's getting bigger and smarter everyday, and that someday soon she'll not be my baby girl anymore. That all makes me sad. But seriously? "The rubber side?" Funny!

I am special

2008-09-23T10:48:00.001-05:00

Ella's first day of preschool.

2008-09-23T09:21:00.004-05:00

On Tuesday, September 2, 2008, Ella started preschool. It was a very big deal in our house.

Her and I had gone to Prince of Peace Community Early Learning Center the Thursday prior to get her paperwork and take a quick tour. She didn't want to leave. "I want to stay and learn!" she said over and over again. I thought it was so cute that she wanted to stay and learn, not stay and play.

We went shopping that weekend for a new outfit for the first day of school. She picked out a cute jumper and I found socks to match.

We got up very early that Tuesday. Brady had stayed home that morning from work so he could go with us to her new school. It became a family event - everyone to the preschool for Ella's big day!

She was so excited when we arrived. She wasn't nervous or scared at all! After we signed her in and took her to her classroom, she washed her hands, gave us hugs and kisses, and just walked away to start playing with her new friends. Wow. She didn't linger or hold onto my leg like I thought she might. She just walked away like it was no big deal.

And it has been that way for the last 3 weeks. Every Tuesday and Thursday I sign her into school around 8:30. We go to her classroom - The Purple Cat room - where she washes her hands, gives me hugs & kisses, and then just walks away.

I'm glad she is enjoying preschool so much. She has learned "Criss-cross applesauce" and has been a "Lights off/on" helper. She has learned a few new songs, and made some new friends. I'm so happy that she gets to learn and play somewhere other than our house.

I didn't put her into preschool expecting it to be a big learning experience for her in the sense that she'll be more "book" smart when she leaves. I put her into preschool so she could gain socialization experience. And POPCELC was not the preschool I expected my kids to go to. I did not want them going to any sort of religious school. However, I didn't have any other option.

Well, that's not true. I could have tried to put her into the preschool through the school district, but she never would have been accepted; she's too smart. I didn't realize that because it's a free program, they take the kids that need the most help first. Ella would have tested above their standards. My other option was to have driven Ella to C-U a few times a week, wasting time and gas just to keep her out of the religious hoopla of Prince of Peace. But I think that at this age, the Bible is just stories, and she'll be in kindergarten soon enough.

I also think that her being in preschool will be good for me too. I'll get to meet people in my town. People who obviously have a child the same age as Ella. She'll be invited to birthday parties and hopefully play dates as the year goes on, which of course means that I'll get to interact with other parents - adult conversation is always a good thing for me.

So although this preschool was not my first choice, I think it was a good one. Ella's liking it. I'm liking it. I know it's only been a few weeks, so I won't count my chickens....but I've got a good feeling about the whole thing!

Here's a few pictures from Ella's first day of school:

Ella & Daddy

Her teachers - Miss Jennifer and Miss Regina

Mommy & Ella after school

I've been Whipped!

2008-09-18T10:01:00.009-05:00

I didn't eat peanut butter for a very long time. I was convinced that because it had so much fat in it, it had to be bad for me. Now that I've got kids, it's become a staple in our house, and I'm actually eating it on occasion. I usually buy reduced fat peanut butter because, well, I want to cut those fat grams whenever possible.

I have been buying Jif Reduced Fat Creamy for a while. I really have no preference - I buy what's on sale and tastes good. I like this peanut butter. It spreads very easily.

Last week I was looking over the section of P.B. at Wal-Mart while on my weekly grocery run. I came across this peanut butter - one I'd never seen before:
Peter Pan Whipped Creamy Peanut Butter. Whipped. Creamy. "Well, this has to be loaded with fat!" I though. I turned the jar around and read the nutrition facts. 12 grams of fat for 2 tablespoons sure seemed like a lot, so I grabbed the Jif to compare. I was shocked. The Peter Pan brand had the same amount of fat grams as the Jif, and yet it had fewer calories! This whipped miracle had less sodium, carbs and less sugar than the Jif! I'm all about giving my kids less of all of those things - and me, too. I put the jar in the cart and was excited to get home and try my new find. Weird, I know. Who gets excited about peanut butter (who blogs about p.b.?)

This new stuff is actually really good! It was a little odd spreading it on bread - that whole "whipped" consistency takes some getting used to...like in those yogurts.....but it was very good. I think I'll stick with this one for now. (Until I find a p.b. with only 8 grams of fat!)

Let's talk.

2008-09-18T10:01:00.004-05:00

Grayson is starting to say more words. Well...I know what he's saying, even if no one else does. He now says "car," only he sounds like he's from Boston. He's just a cool kid with an accent!

He answers Diego and Dora all the time. Of course he's usually saying "no" but I don't care. It's talking and it makes me happy. He says "map" when Dora asks what she needs...again, he's got an accent.

He came up to me yesterday, leaned his body against me, grabbed my arms and put them around him so I was hugging him. He then said, "Ugh." I, of course being a great interpreter knew he said "hug." I almost cried. It was so cute. Add the fact that he loves to kiss, and I'm now getting plenty of hugs and kisses from both my kids! It's moments like that one that make me glad I'm a mom!

On a side note - Ella's been adding syllables to some of her words. She likes the word, "fart." I don't care - I like the word too. Lately she's been saying stuff like, "Mom! Grayson farteded!" or "Daddy fartededed." She's never really added the "did" sound to her words, and I'm sure it's just a phase. However, I think it's cute, so I'm not stopping her.

He can sleep anywhere.

2008-09-17T10:52:00.003-05:00

Seriously?

2008-09-16T17:02:00.003-05:00

Last week I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. I saw that they had the printer that I'd been eyeing and that it was on sale, so I bought it. I asked Brady to hook it up for me. He never got around to it, so I decided to try to do it myself.

The first thing that weirded me out was that there was scotch tape over the top where the box should have been closed with packing tape. When I opened the box, I noticed that the cord was very dusty. "This has been used," I thought to myself.

I pulled out all the paperwork and cd's that came in the box, and everything just looked odd. Then I pulled out the printer and wouldn't you know it! The fucking thing was used! Not only was is filthy, but it wasn't even the same printer! I purchased an all-in-one, and this was just a plain old printer. I was furious!!! All I could think was, "Seriously? What a bunch of fucking assholes!" Yet, at the same time I thought, "but they sure did a good job."

I called the store, and asked customer service if I could bring it back. Artie (I made her spell her name) said it was fine if I had my receipt. I was sure to write her name and the time that I spoke with her on my receipt. I didn't want to take it back and them tell me that I was stuck with this piece of crap. Although, seriously....Wal-Mart will take anything back.

Looking back on it, I remember thinking something seemed odd about the box when I took it off the shelf. But I was in a hurry and Grayson was acting up, so I put the thought to the back of my head. I should have listened to my gut.

I did take the printer back yesterday, and I had no trouble returning it. In fact, Artie was there to share in my pain. It took 3 customer service people to ponder the craziness of it all, but I now have my HP Photosmart C5240 All-in-One printer, and I've already become a printing fool! Yay!

A day at the orchard

2008-09-10T19:41:00.007-05:00

I have been working like a mad woman these past few days to get all my items prepped for the One Week Boutique sale. I made over $200 in the spring sale, and I'm pretty sure I'll pull in more for this one.

Since I've been so busy, I haven't been doing much with the kids. They've watched a little too much television this week and I'm trying not to feel bad about it.

Yesterday was such a lovely day, that I decided I couldn't be selfish and make the kids stay inside. I took them on a trip to Curtis Orchard after Grayson's nap so they could get some sillies out.

Ella was excited to pick apples that she insisted I make into a pie. I've never made a homemade pie - so I think I'll give it a go....with a store-bought crust.

After picking apples, Ella pretended to be an airplane as one was flying over us.

Ella stops to observe a dozen or so butterflies that covered the path.

After apple picking, I let the kids roam free in Munchkin Land. It's one of the few places that I can let G loose and not worry about him running away. I have sworn off parks for the time being. In fact the word "park" has become one of the bad 4-letter words in our house. As much as I'd like to take the kids, it's too hard. I think he just wants to get as far away from me as possible!

This is the kitty that all the kids were fighting over. It doesn't look too friendly, but was actually a very cuddly kitten.

I had no idea G knew how to climb this type of slide and go down all by himself!

It felt so good to enjoy the great weather with the kids. I know they had fun, and with every trip we take to C.O., we always leave with fun new memories! (This time we left with 2 bags of apples. I made apple crisp today - super yummy!)

Finally!

2008-09-06T21:41:00.002-05:00

After what has felt like forever, we finally got a new computer! I'm super duper excited! Seriously! You people have no idea! I can finally start putting pictures on the Internet right after taking them! For a long time I was just taking them with my phone and sending them to my e-mail then saving them on the computer then uploading them to the Internet. What a pain in the ass!
I bought some super expensive photo/video editor that I'm pumped about too!
So watch out people! I'll have so much stuff on here you're going to get tired of stopping by!

My history of friends, or lack thereof

2008-09-04T08:56:00.003-05:00

I never had a problem making friends. In kindergarten I knew children from my neighborhood, so I wasn't walking into the classroom that first day feeling like a complete stranger. In the second grade our school district changed and my grade school was in my tiny town where only local kids went to it. (We were a county school system.) This of course meant that I saw the same boys and girls every day for the next 3 years. In 5th grade, all the kids from the other towns in the county came to our school for the year, prepping us for the move to junior high, at another school in another town. New kids meant new friends.

I played sports, both in school and over the summer. I was in all the clubs. I was a social butterfly. I was by no means "popular," though. I was from a poor family, and when you live in a small town (population 850), everyone knows all your secrets. After second grade I gained a bunch of weight and had to get glasses. I was not an adorable adolescent. Yet I still had lots of friends. Because of occasional teasing, I developed a very tough side. I had a "smart mouth," and many times would speak before I thought. And yet, I still had lots of friends.

As I grew older and more life opportunities came our way, my friends and I developed new friends and shed some old ones. It's inevitable. Some of my best friends ('cause when you're young, all friends are best friends) became just friends. No more BFF, or BF, just F. But that was ok too, because I still had lots of other friends.

In college I lost touch with most friends from high school. I found a few really good friends, and then joined a sorority and gained 30 "sisters." It was a great time. I'm not saying that just because I was in this group of women that we were all friends; there were plenty that I didn't like at all. But again, I had lots of friends. I was a theater major. I developed my theater friends. I made friends with the gays, and then I had my gay friends. I had my work friends from Lowe's. I had friends coming out the wazoo! There was always something going on, and I was never alone.

Then I graduated and moved back home and in with my mother and her boyfriend, who is now my step dad. They had moved to a town 40 minutes from where I grew up. I knew no one. I had to drive 30 minutes to hang out with my friends from high school, who at this point consisted of Troy and Dianna. I got a job in a neighboring town at a gas station and thanks to a theater friend from college I made a few new friends in this new town. I started to hang out with 2 regularly - Christie and Amery. We were constantly out together. We karaoke together, we went to summer softball games together; Amery and I played on the same team one summer.

I started dating Brady. This meant I was now hanging out with his friends too. By this time, I was in beauty school and had friends from there that I hung out with too. We were an on-again, off-again couple. After a year of this, I got pregnant. Of course, this meant that I wasn't able to do the things I had been doing. No more late nights at the bar, no more sports. Unbeknownst to me, this now meant that I'd have no more friends.

I had quit beauty school and started substitute teaching, which I liked much more and one day I hope to teach my own classroom. I had quit the gas station. I lived in a different town than those people I had called friends. No one came to visit, but they were always asking me to "come into town" to see them. With the exception of Troy and Dianna, I only had my family and Brady. A few other friends lived far away - no occasional get-togethers with them to catch up on old times. I was basically alone.

One month after Ella was born, we moved to St. Joseph. A new town in a new area and we didn't know a single person. This was so depressing. I gained back all of the baby weight I had lost in that first month. There was nothing to do. It was November, so I couldn't take my newborn to the park to socialize. No one came down to visit except my family. I was the only one of my friends who had a child, so now we didn't really have much in common.

I put Ella in daycare and got a job thinking it'd help me make friends. I had never had problems in the past making friends. That plan didn't work. I decided to stay home with E so that I wouldn't miss out on her major life accomplishments. I got pregnant with Grayson. At this time I still only had a few friends. Seriously. I could count them on one hand. Sure, I had "Friends" on Myspace, but really, most of them were acquaintances at this point.

I joined a mom's group thinking I'd have no problem making friends. Again, I had never really had problems in the past making friends. And I thought for sure this would be easy in a group of women who had most of the same issues and daily routines that I had. I've been part of this group for about a year and I think I can count the number of friends I have on one had. I don't even need all my fingers. I don't know why I set my expectations so high. Just like in school, there are cliques. I'm not saying I want to be part of a clique, but it'd be nice to have a circle of friends. I don't have that right now. I occasionally get together with people for playdates, but because of Brady's schedule and until recently the lack of babysitter, I don't get to do any adult-only activities. When I do have a chance to talk to other mom's, we get so easily distracted by our kids that our conversations are in pieces.

I'd like to think that I'm a great friend. I'm nice and giving, I'm funny and considerate. I used to be smart, but the kids have sucked away most of my braincells. I am one of those people who believe that if you are going to be friends with another person, put 100% into it. If you can't do that, then what's the point? I return phone calls and I invite people over. But when I am the only person doing this it makes me wonder: Do these people really want to be my friend or are they just being polite? I feel like I have a lot to offer as a friend, but no one gets to see this because no one has given me a chance. It's really depressing to live 2 hours from my family and they few friends I have back home. It's very depressing to live here, feeling so alone. I just keep trying and trying to fit in somewhere. I'm 30 years old! This shouldn't be so hard!

I realize that this whole post sounds like, "Oh, poor me!" But isn't that what my blog is for? To express myself - good things and bad things? So if you're reading this, don't take it too personally. I'm sure you don't fall into that category of "not really a friend, more of an acquaintance."

Another day....

2008-09-03T21:04:00.006-05:00

Both Ella and Grayson have been sick for 3 days. At first I thought it was just allergies, but now I'm thinking it's a cold.

Tuesday was Ella's first day of preschool. I'll blog about that tomorrow (when she's in school and it's just me and G at home). But I must say that I did feel horrible for her to be all snotty and sneezy the first day of school. So she's been taking medicine and of course getting lots of rest.

Today we had to run errands and one of them was to get her Halloween costume.

She's gonna be a cute monkey. And warm too!

Late this afternoon, I went into her room to check on her. She was asleep just like this:

Of course I moved her to her bed right after I took her pictures! Poor thing. I hope she's feeling better tomorrow. I'd like for her to have a good time at her new school. Plus, I don't want the other kids to think she's gross because she occasionally has snot come out of her nose when she sneezes. She could be emotionally scarred for life!

Ella says.....

2008-08-26T11:33:00.003-05:00

Brady told me that on Sunday, while I was in the shower, Ella farted.
"Ok," I said, "she does that sometimes."
"But it's what she said after that was funny," he said.

Apparently, Ella farted, then started giggling. Brady asked her, "Ella, did you fart?"
"I'm not Ella. I'm Smella, and yes, I farted."

"Where did she learn 'Smella' from?" he asked me.
"My dad used to call her that when she would have a stinky diaper," I told him.

I love my family....farts and all!

G gets a haircut.

2008-08-24T21:42:00.003-05:00

Well people. I did it. I finally cut Grayson's hair. With the exception of trimming his bangs once, this is his first haircut. He's 18 months old, and now, with this haircut, he looks so much older. My little man looks so grown up! I'm sad. I loved his hair. He had these soft bouncy curls, and I loved to run my fingers through them. I could have played with his hair all day if he would have let me. And now it's gone. Well, most of it. Seriously, I'm tearing up.

I got so much flack from people about his "mullet." I didn't think it looked like one; I thought he looked like a cute little boy. Some strangers thought he looked like a little girl. I was getting sick of my friends asking me, "so, have you cut your son's hair yet?" that I think I gave into peer pressure. Shame on me.

I do think he'll be a little cooler now; perhaps the breeze will reach his neck now. And maybe it will be easier to clean food out of his hair after he feels the need to rub it all over at every meal.

So there, people. I did it. You all nagged me and nagged me and finally I gave it. I cut Grayson's beautiful hair. Do you all feel better now?

I'm not an idiot.

2008-08-24T08:04:00.004-05:00

I had to cancel the C.A.R.E. carnival the other day due to the high possibility of rain. Of course, it didn't rain. So I felt like a big schmuck when I woke up Saturday morning to sunny skies. Then I realized that B wasn't home from work yet. He had gone to work at 7 the previous morning. There had been problems at one of his Danville sites, and the last time I talked to him was Friday night around 9.

I get worried when this happens - he works all night long after working all day. I called him and I could tell by the ring that he was on the other line. He didn't answer. About 40 minutes later I heard him pull into the drive. It was 8:15, which meant he'd been at work for over 25 hours. He was so delirious when he walked in the house and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

It was at this point that I was glad I had cancelled the carnival. Even though we weren't rained out, I would have had to cancel so that we wouldn't have disturbed B. The last thing he needed was a bunch of screaming kids right outside his window or someone accidentally opening the bedroom door looking for the bathroom. Not to mention Spike - I would have put her in her kennel, which happens to be in our room. She would have just barked and barked.

So although I am sorry I disappointed a lot of people by cancelling the carnival, and although to most people I seem like an idiot because it didn't rain, I'm glad I did. It worked out for the best. At least for my husband.

5 Things about meme

2008-08-23T08:46:00.003-05:00

Ok. So since I've been tagged for this "5 things about meme" thing not once, not twice, but three times, I suppose I am obligated to participate. I do appreciate that Quigs, Mommy Schiff, and Fearless Freak all thought of me, though. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to think that I'm making some nice friends here. Or maybe that's just the hot specialty coffee I made for myself this morning. Hm.

1. Post the rules of the game at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read the player's blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer.

What were you doing five years ago?
I was working at a BP station as a cashier, but really doing the assistant manager's job without the higher pay. I was playing summer softball. I was at the bars too many nights a week drinking too much beer. I was the on-again, off-again girlfriend to my now-husband, Brady. I was the thinnest I had ever been in my life, and I was loving summer.

What are 5 things on your to-do list for today?
1. Put laundry away.
2. Bathe the kids.
3. Weed the garden (if it doesn't rain).
4. Clean the kitchen.
5. Look online for cake ideas for E's birthday party.

What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
1. Ice cream
2. Iced coffee, blended
3. Oatmeal raisin cookies
4. Trail mix
5. Chips and salsa

What are 5 things you would do if you were a billionaire?
1. Pay off all my debt, and that of my family (minus B's side of the family - they can stick it.)
2. Build/buy an amazing house on the Atlantic Ocean.
3. Put money away for the kids college fund.
4. Travel, travel, travel
5. Open a no-kill animal clinic and offer cheap spay/neuter services.

What are 5 of your bad habits?
1. Not giving myself "me" time.
2. Spending too much time on the computer.
3. I worry about the little things too much.
4. I expect too much from others.
5. My housekeeping skills are lacking.

Where are 5 places that you have lived?
1. Hennepin, Illinois
2. Carbondale, Illinois
3. Mark, Illinois
4. Streator, Illinois
5. St. Joseph, Illinois

What are 5 jobs you've had?
1. Retail sales clerk
2. Library assistant
3. Customer service rep
4. Gas station attendant
5. Substitute teacher

Five people I tag:
Ok. I don't have a lot of friends, and very few blogging friends. So those of you who tagged me already are getting tag-backs. No one called "no tag-backs" in the beginning, so THERE!
1. Quigs78 - 2 kids, 3 cats, and a blog
2. Mommy Schiff - Life Interrupted
3. Fearless Freak - The Fabulous Follies of a Freaky Family
4. Looseyfur - Looseyfur's Midwest Adventures
5. Lavender Lemonade - Limes, Lemons, and Beautiful Yarn

Dress-up

2008-08-20T12:51:00.005-05:00

Every so often, Ella will disappear into her room for extended periods of time. Some days she is reading, coloring, or just playing with her toys. Today she was playing dress-up.

'Cause We're the Best of Friends

2008-08-19T10:10:00.009-05:00

My niece Aubry is Ella's best friend. They are so close in age - only 2 months apart - that they've reached most milestones around the same time. They love each other so much, and I wish we lived closer to Aubry and her family. They ask about each other all the time, and when they get together there is no stopping them!
Here are a few photos of the two of them over the years.

Ella Crafts

2008-08-15T09:15:00.002-05:00

If given a choice between watching television or crafting, Ella would pick crafting every time. These are pictures of what she did when I was in the shower the other day. These are simple crafts, but when I'm crafting with her, we use lots more fun stuff: feathers, glitter, paint. I think glue, stickers and buttons are pretty safe supplies when I can't be there to help or supervise.

Oh no he didn't!

2008-08-14T09:08:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, Ella and I had some quality alone time. It was the middle of the afternoon, and we were watching Olympic gymnastics that I had dvr'd from the night before. We were snuggled up together on the couch, and we were cheering for everyone to do a good job.

The doorbell rang, and I figured it was just a delivery man. It was two children, a boy and a girl, and they were selling something. The girl was raising money for cheerleading. I know what it's like to have to go door-to-door to sell stuff (years of Girl Scouts and club fundraisers take a toll on a person) so I agreed to buy some cheese danishes. I filled out the form and said thank you, and good luck. As I was getting ready to close the door, the boy said, "Um. Actually. Can I please use your bathroom?" What? I thought. I almost told him to just go pee around the corner of the house, but I didn't think the neighbors would like that.

I told him that he could, and that my son was napping, so to please be quiet. I showed him where the bathroom was and went to get Grayson, who had woke up screaming. I took G out to the entryway, and the little girl was coloring with chalk on the easel with Ella. I asked her what grade she was in - "Second." I asked her where she lived - "Over by Sportsman Club Road."

I expected the boy to be out of the bathroom by this time, but oh no. And that could only mean one thing - he was crapping in my bathroom! I tried to keep the conversation flowing with the girl so that I'd keep my mind off of what was happening in my bathroom. For some reason, the fact that he was a very overweight kid made my mind think the worst about what could happen in there. I know, that's horrible, but I couldn't help it.

Out of nowhere, the girl says, "Can I have something to drink?" What? First the boy needs to shit in my bathroom, and not the girl expects me to give her a drink? I got her a Capri Sun from the refrigerator (E doesn't like them) and she thanked me. She then asked which door was for the bathroom and I told her. She proceeded to knock on it to tell her brother to hurry up. E then decided to show the girl her Wall-E toy. The girl didn't seem impressed.

The boy finally emerges, thanks me, and the two of them leave. Although he had closed the bathroom door, the smell of air freshener is overwhelming. E asks me what the smell is, so I told her that the boy pooped and it stunk so he sprayed air freshener. She told me it was too stinky.

I didn't open the door to that bathroom for about 5 hours - I had wild thoughts of what I'd find. And some of these thoughts came true when I finally went in. The boy had left me a little present. Seriously? Couldn't he double flush?

The whole incident was just weird. I understand that we are a small town, and I'm sure it's ok for these kids to go door-to-door selling stuff. I think the boy was in 5th grade; he looked like he might be, and so I'm glad he accompanied his little sister. That was nice. I could tell that the kids were from a lower-income family. So is that why their manners were so bad? I was from a really poor family, but there is no freakin' way I'd ask a stranger to use their bathroom or for a drink! If I had to go, I would hold it and rush home, or find a public bathroom. Seriously! I mean.....WTF!

Eat, Drink and Be Merry

2008-08-08T08:34:00.003-05:00

I am leaving in a few hours for my long anticipated weekend away. I will be dropping my kids off at my mother's house and my best mate Troy and I will be taking our annual trip to Alpine Valley in Wisconsin to see The Dave Matthews Band with The Black Crowes. We will be camping at Snug Harbor, which will be overcrowded with other DMB fans. We will get stuck in traffic on the way to the concert, as always, which will lead to a party on the highway, beer included. We will tailgate for hours. We will find our place on the steep hillside and attempt to make it "our spot." We will inevitably lose each other 3 or 4 times through the course of the evening, but miraculously will end up back together for the end of the show. We will tailgate again while watching the hoards of people fight to leave the parking lot. We will go back to the campground and while we will already have a natural high, we'll get wasted. We will leave on Sunday morning, stinky and tired. But it will all be worth it.

Things I hear

2008-08-07T10:56:00.003-05:00

Ella says so many funny and cute things on a daily basis. I try to remember what they are, but since I'm a mom, I have no real memory anymore. I've decided to just start posting them here. I don't care if I have 10 posts a day, because at least they'll be documented for all to read!

*This morning Ella gallops over to me and is making horse sounds. I ask her if she's a horse for today and she says she is a "horse unicornia." She calls unicorns, unicornia's. I tell her that she needs to go put on some underwear and she says very matter-of-factly:

"Horses, unicornia's, don't wear people underwear." She then turned her tail around and walked away.

*A few days ago B was opening some mail. I asked him what was in the envelope and he said, "It's just my European stocks."

Ella says in a very upset tone, "I don't pee in my socks!"

I need a vacation.

2008-08-06T17:36:00.004-05:00

I'm tired. I'm really tired. Things in our house have been so crazy these last few days.

Grayson got sick on Monday. Ok. I guess "sick" just makes it sound like he caught a cold. He had a fever and I thought it was teething related. Oh no. The kid was sitting on my lap while I was at the computer when he started crying and proceeded to vomit mass amounts of undigested milk all over me. I had never seen anything like it. Chunks upon chunks of what looked like super large cottage cheese curds. Gross, I know. And the smell!

After cleaning up and taking a nap, I tried to soothe him with a bottle of just 4 ounces of skim milk. I thought it'd be ok. It wasn't too much and it was lighter than whole milk. Five minutes after he had that, he threw it up....all over my favorite, expensive, cream-colored sheets which were on my month-old pillow-top mattress. Oh yeah. That was loads of fun to clean up. At one point I was actually cursing myself for buying a mattress that can't be turned over.

I rushed him to the doctor because I was really worried. He's never thrown up before, and the fact that he had a fever just added to my worry.

Ella was a trooper. She listed to me and played nicely in the waiting room at the doc's office. Of course she had to tell anyone who would listen that: "My name's Ella. I'm 3. My brother is sick. He threw up on my mommy and he threw up on Mommy's bed." After her speech, the parent to which she was speaking would look over at me and smile. All I could do was politely wave and say hello.

The doctor said he had a 100.3 fever, and that since everything else seemed fine, she was diagnosing him with the stomach flu. I was glad it wasn't anything serious, but now I had to worry about E or me getting it because we leave on Friday.

So we've camped out on my bed for the last couple days (with old sheets on it). I sleep when I can. I've watched Baby Einstein movies and way more Noggin than any one adult should. The little man was dazed and confused for the first 2 days but he is now feeling better. Last night he slept until 4, then we finished our morning on the couch, not getting up until almost 9.

Last night he was crying and I gave him some Tylenol but I pushed the syringe a little too fast and he started to choke on it. He started coughing and I had flashbacks of him getting sick all over me. Ella was standing there and she immediately got me a towel just in case. She said, "Watch out! He's gonna blow!" Leave it to E to add humor to the situation! He didn't "blow," and after he calmed down, he was just fine.

I chanced things last night and gave him 2 ounces of milk and he did fine with it. But I was worried all night that I was going to pay for it this morning. However, he seems to be almost back to his mischievous self. I'd say he's 90% better. And neither E or I are sick, so thank goodness for that!

I don't know how single parents survive. I've been like a single parent for a week and a half while B's out of town, and I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. Of course G being sick didn't help, but really! How do those women and men do it? I couldn't imaging having more than 2 kids and going at it alone. It's hard work!

It's times like these that I wish we lived closer to family and that I had more friends down here. It would have been nice to drop E off at someone's house the other day when I had to rush G to the doctor's office.

At least I get a two day break and then B will be back home. I've already informed my partner-in-crime for the weekend to watch out: I'm really going to cut loose and have a good time!

The Princess and the Frog

2008-08-03T21:46:00.003-05:00

I love Disney movies. I enjoy Disney Pixar movies too, but it's just not the same as the hand-drawn musical movies that I, and so many generations before me, grew up with.

I just saw the teaser-trailer for the new Disney movie due out next year - The Princess and The Frog. I am super excited! This movie has an African-American princess and takes place in the bayous of Louisiana. There is a trumpet-playing alligator and a Cajun firefly, which I know Ella will get a kick out of.

Our family is big "into" Cajun stuff, due in part to my stepfather. We often eat at his favorite restaurant when we're home, Cajun Connection. Ella and my niece Aubry love playing with their crawfish before making Grammy open them up so they can chow down! So the fact that this movie has a Cajun theme to it should ease the pain of my stepdad being forced to watch it after it comes to DVD. (He thinks Walt Disney was evil).

Anyway, our household is loaded with Disney movie and paraphernalia, so I'm sure this movie will make it onto our media shelf!

Beans, Beans

2008-08-02T09:22:00.003-05:00

The other day, I made a goulash of sorts for dinner. Ella kept asking what was in it and why. One of the items I threw in was butter beans. I love them, and I'm trying to get the kids to like new things. I thought I was a little sneaky because the sauce in the food masked the color of the beans; I thought they'd be hidden. Of course my daughter found them immediately. She used to eat everything. Now? Not so much.
I told her that they were beans and they were good for her; they'd give her muscles! She whined a little, and so I broke down and sang her the song.

Beans, beans, the magical fruit

The more you eat, the more you toot.

The more you toot, the better you feel,

So let's eat beans with every meal!

She thought I was so funny, and made me sing it to her again and again and again. After the sixth time, I refused to sing it any longer and I walked out of the room.

This morning, while she's eating her cereal, she says, "Momma!" with such urgency that I quickly turn around to see what's happened. Had she spilled her milk from her bowl? Had Grayson tried to change the TV channel because he was tired of watching Strawberry Shortcake? Oh no.

"Momma! Sing the bean song!! Sing the bean song!" she yells. It took me a moment to register what she had just said. I laughed.

"You want me to sing the bean song," I asked her.

"Yes, puh-leezzz!" She begged.

Of course I gave in and she giggled as I sang the song for her....only twice!

Day 2 W/O Daddy

2008-07-31T20:40:00.002-05:00

Today is day 2 with B out of town. The kids are getting to me. The weather isn't helping.

I would love to just let them loose in the backyard for a while, but I can't stand the heat. When it is 100 degrees in the shade, it's too hot. And I don't even know what the heat index was today, but there was no way I was gonna sit outside and sweat my ass off while my kids got heat exhaustion. I don't even know if they'd want to be out in the heat, but I'm not giving them the option. If the weather lady on Channel 3 is right, we'll have a heat index of 100+ for the next 6 days. Wow. That sucks. I hate heat and humidity. When it's like this, I don't even like walking to the mailbox, let alone taking the kids anywhere. This, of course, means we're stuck inside for a week. I'm going to have to kick my mommy-brain into high gear to find ways to entertain the children. Wish me luck.

Did I previously mention that Brady is going to a Cubs game this Saturday? I wonder what it would be like to be able to go and do random things without the kids on a regular basis. Humph.

Even though I had the bed all to myself last night, I didn't sleep good. Ella's been coming into our room every night for the last 2 weeks. She'll get in bed with us (last night, with me) for a while, then want to go back to her room. I ask her, during the daytime, why she isn't staying in her bed at night. "I just want to snuggle with you, Momma," she says. As much as I love to snuggle my daughter, I equally love sleep. Let's hope tonight I can get at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Ha. That's funny.

Can I handle it?

2008-07-30T21:46:00.002-05:00

Brady left today. He has classes in Shaumburg for the rest of this week and all of next. This means I'll be home with the kids by myself for 10 days. We'll see how sane I am after 5. At least I get a break after day 10; the kids will be with my mom for 2 1/2 days while I venture up to Alpine Valley in Wisconsin with my best mate, Troy. We're going to see the Dave Matthews Band on August 9th. I finally get a mini-vacation from my children! Woo-hoo!

Spike Rests

2008-07-28T22:04:00.004-05:00

On Saturday, Brady took Spike in to get her stitches taken out. She had been spayed 12 days prior, and I didn't know how much longer I could take her stink. She had already destroyed the cone they put around her neck and luckily showed no interest in licking her stitches out herself. All I wanted to do was bathe her. Actually, I had assigned that chore to B. Poor Spike. I think she knew how awful she smelled. Of course that didn't stop her from wanting to sit on the couch.

So on Saturday afternoon, B brought her home and immediately put her in the bathtub. They were in there a long time. Spike emerged a clean, stink-free puppy, who was just exhausted and only had sleep on her agenda.

I took these picture of her resting in her "box" in the kitchen. I know that I complain a lot about her and sometimes I forget that she's just a puppy, but when she's asleep or calm, she's so adorable.

Snap, Snap, Kiss, Kiss

2008-07-28T21:38:00.003-05:00

For a long time, I've been worried that Grayson wasn't developing mentally as fast as he should be. He's not really talking, and up until recently, had no interest in things that Ella did at his age.

At his last wellness visit, the doctor asked me what he did when he played with his cars. "Um. VROOM, VROOM!" I told her. I knew where she was going with the question. She said he was doing fine, and that I shouldn't worry. Of course I still worried. G's lack of words has made life difficult.

I'm starting to see that he's gonna be fine. He is doing those things Ella did, only he's about 4-6 months behind when she did them. He has begun to show a real interest in books - something I've been desperately waiting for. Lately, he's been reading them more than eating them. He brings me books throughout the day for us to read together.

He is identifying things in the picture books more and more everyday, and that makes me so happy! The other day, we were looking at a book of colors and when we turned to the page with the green alligator, I took my hand and made a snap motion while saying "snap, snap." He thought it was so funny and quickly picked up on it. Now every time he sees an alligator or crocodile, he makes the motion and tries to say the word, "snap."

He has been so affectionate toward me lately too. He likes to give kisses and "lovins" sometimes to the point that my face is covered in slobber. I don't care. I'm just happy to have him give me a kiss when I ask him for it. It's not just the fact that it is affection, it is that he hears what I say to him and responds.

He's been identifying facial features. He loves "nose" and "eye" and some days I think he's really saying the words. But, again, I'm just happy that he's identifying what I ask him to.

I knew that with G being an early walker/climber/acrobat that his speech might come later than it did with Ella. But now that he's vocalizing more, and identifying more objects, I'm starting to feel much better about things. Now, if only he'd listen and understand what "no" means. I guess it's just one step at a time.

Pics of G

2008-07-26T15:28:00.005-05:00

I was playing with my new phone this morning, and Grayson was my subject.

2008-07-21T22:11:00.002-05:00

I remember the days prior to:
"Mom! Grayson's in my room!"
"Mom! Grayson has my dolphin!"
"Mom! Grayson has my water!"
"Mom! Grayson hit me on the head!"

Those were good days.

Why?

2008-07-18T09:44:00.004-05:00

I have been waiting for this day to come. I knew that it would be soon, but I thought I'd be better prepared. Ella has come to the stage in her life where every other sentence out of her sweet little mouth is a question. And half of the other sentences are her asking for stuff she sees in magazines or on television.

"What is it Momma?"
"I want that, Momma! I want that!"
"But why, Momma?"
"I NEED that Momma!"
"Why? Why? But why?"

This stage in a child's life is often showcased in tv comedies and movies. Comedians use it in standup acts. I have witnessed it in the department store when a child wants every toy in the aisle. I always said I'd handle it differently than other moms had. But no.

I am able to let most of E's questions and "wants" slide right off me. I give her an explanation or I tell her maybe Santa will bring her that toy for Christmas. Of course being the inquisitive gal she is, these answers are not enough.

I have started to get angry with her now. I'm thinking most of it is because of all the stress I've had these past few weeks with Grayson's teething. I don't want to be the angry mom. I want her to know answers and I want her to know that she doesn't need every toy or book she sees. I try to distract her with somethings else, but then she usually has a million questions about that.

I try to just breathe when it gets too overwhelming, but sometimes it's just so hard not to yell at her. I don't tell her to "shut up." That's a phrase I don't believe a child should hear or use. I do tell her that mommy has a headache and needs some quite time. Or I tell her she needs to be quiet for a while. This usually doesn't work.

I guess I just need to suck it up and become the walking encyclopedia I always knew I was.....Encyclopedia Mommy Sarah, Volumes 1-3, with a new addition coming every year for the next 15 years! Grayson will just have to deal with the used volumes when his time comes. :-)

"Mommy! Call the firemen!"

2008-07-15T17:15:00.003-05:00

I almost burned my kitchen down today. (Is it burned? or burnt?)

I turned the oven to 400 degrees with intention of cooking some fish for lunch. (That's what I get for trying to eat healthy!) I went into G's room to check my email, and I left the kids in the dining room to eat their lunch. After a few minutes I hear G getting upset because he's finished his ravs and now wants down. I walk into the dining/living room and I see the flames inside my oven. OMG!

I immediately know why my oven was on fire. On Sunday, prior to everyone coming over, I shoved a baking sheet with a few dirty dishes into the oven to get it out of my way. I then threw in a muffin pan and a place mat that were also dirty. I specifically told myself not to forget that they were in there. Really. I said it out loud and everything. And yet, I forgot.

The flames were a good 8 inches high, but contained in the oven. I ran to the garage to get a fire extinguisher while calling B at the same time because I didn't know where one was. I was freaking out (cussing like a sailor) trying to find one and B's phone just kept ringing and ringing, eventually going to voice mail. I ran into the kitchen and moved the kids out to the living room, then put Spike in the laundry room. I ran back into the garage and found an extinguisher that looked as though it was 10 years old. "I hope if I need this, it still works," I said.

Ella is yelling from the living room, "Mommy! Call the firemen! Call the fire woman!" Grayson was still in his high chair, but knew something was wrong and was getting mad.

The flames in the oven were almost gone, so I just stood there waiting. I knew better than to open the oven door. The less oxygen the fire has, the better. So with no visible flames, I opened the oven door a crack. Smoke just poured out. I closed it, opened the windows in the kitchen, then ran to the shed to get the only non-ceiling fan that we own, and put it in the doorway to the garage with the garage door open. I opened the oven door again and let some more smoke out.

Ella was freaking out, so I put her and Grayson in E's room and told her not to open the door. I went back into the kitchen and opened the oven door again, this time leaving it open. Most of the smoke had cleared, but the smell! Oh the smell! Most of the dishes survived; there were a few sippy cups that needed to be thrown out though. The place mat had melted and landed on the heating element at the bottom of the oven causing the flames. I pulled out the bottom rack that had the muffin pan and melted place mat on it, and put in out in the garage. "Brady's never gonna let me live this one down, " I thought.

I decided that the smell was just so strong, that I would get the kids ready and we would leave the house for a while. As we were leaving the house, Ella said to me, "I'm really gonna miss my house, Momma. I'm really gonna miss our dishes." She repeated these thing for the next few hours. I tried to tell her that everything was gonna be ok, and that we'd get new cups at the store.

We went to Wendy's for some lunch and ate in the car under a shady tree in the parking lot of Target before we went in to wander aimlessly for a few hours. I had gotten a hold of B and told him what had happened and told him not to bother saying anything ignorant about my memory. I already felt bad enough about the situation anyway. This was the second time I had started a fire in the kitchen. The first happened when we first moved in. I turned on what I thought was the back burner and it was really the front. I had left a pot holder sitting over the front, and it started smoking with some small flames. I hate electric stoves/ovens!

When we got home, the smell was gone. Thank goodness! Brady came home and he cleaned out the oven for me, and tried to get the rest of the plastic off the oven rack I had left in the garage. The smell was so overwhelming for me, I couldn't do it. He also told me that it was a good thing I didn't use the extinguisher I had found in the garage because it is a Halon/Nitrogen extinguisher. Ella just came to me and said that she hopes no more of our dishes are smoking. She said she didn't like the smoke. Great. Now I've emotionally scarred my child for life.

We are all ok, and the oven will work again. We might have to get a new heating element for it, but it'll work. I think I need a vacation.

* Did I fail to mention that since Spike has been home from her spaying, she has had post-surgery diarrhea? Good times. Good times!

Let's recap

2008-07-14T22:26:00.006-05:00

WHEW! These past 5 days have been insane! You know you want a recap. You know you do.

Brady left on Thursday to go back up home. He had to get in some more training on a semi before taking his test on Friday for his CDL license for work. On Friday, he was going to go to the NASCAR race in Joliet with some of the guys from work - they had box seats in some private room. Neither of us are fans, but it was something fun for him to do with the guys outside of work, and he knew he'd be getting tons of free stuff from Motorola. He was also going to go to the race on Saturday, then come home on Sunday. All this meant that I was going to be home with the kids all by myself for 4 days. And since we had a busy weekend planned, I was less than excited to go at it alone.

Thursday night, Grayson still had a fever and didn't sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. He wouldn't eat or really take a bottle. It was a really rough night. His fever finally broke around 4:30 a.m. and I felt relieved. This soon faded.

Friday, although he didn't have a fever anymore, G was still irritable. He still had a low appetite and was just in a pissy mood all day. I was trying to get some cleaning done because we were having guests over on Sunday, but all he wanted was to be held or be near me. I had wanted to get my grocery shopping out of the way, but that didn't happen either.

Friday night he slept for a few hours before I had to bring him into my bed to sleep with me. He never sleeps in our bed because he thinks it's too much fun to try to jump on Daddy. It worked out good that Daddy was gone, and we actually got some real sleep that night. Of course I had to put Spike in her box in the kitchen. Her kennel is next to our bed, and with G waking up every now and then, she kept thinking it was time for her to get out and play. So I thought it'd be best for everyone if she slept in the kitchen.

When we woke up on Saturday to the rain (I love days like that!) I realized that the berry picking meetup was obviously cancelled. Although we'd been looking forward to it, I was sorta glad. I had a house to clean and errands to run, and this just gave me more time.

Grayson was in a good mood, and Ella was still asleep at 8 a.m. when I walked into the kitchen to find Spike sitting in her box next to a pile of shit and piss. What a way to start the day! So, although it was raining outside, I carefully got her out on her chain without getting any crap on me or the floor. B just built her a dog house, so I felt just fine sending her out in a downpour. Plus I was pissed off (no pun intended).

After getting the floor cleaned, the kids fed and packed up, we finally left the house around 11.

We had to take the garbage into town. This is usually B's job, but since he was out of town.....(did I mention that I had to mow the yard on Friday, too?). We don't pay for garbage pickup because B has a dumpster at his office that we use. So every few days, he loads up the bags in the back of his work truck and hauls them off. Well.....he failed to do this before he left, and the stench of this stuff was gagging me all the way to Champaign. And I felt bad for the kids having to ride so much closer to it than I. (I drove as fast as I could over there, and Febreezed the car when we got home).

We then went to Sam's Club. This was the first time I'd taken both kids there without B. It didn't go to badly. If I have to do it again, I will stick to the regular carts. I thought E and G would like the big kid seats on the special carts. E kept buckling herself in, then wanting to be unbuckled. G kept standing up and trying to escape. I was very excited, though, that I got to use our new checks from our new combined checking account! I'd been waiting years for that pleasure!

We then decided to go to Wal-Mart. I just wanted to get in and get out, but that never works. We were able to find what we needed in reasonable time and I was impressed that there were no major meltdowns from the kids...until the checkout.

G wanted out of the cart, and Ella couldn't stand in one spot. I handed the cashier a blank check, knowing that they just print them. She asked me for my license, typed my number in and handed it back. She then gave me back my check and a piece of paper and said, "You check is declined," and just stood there. "I'm sorry?" I said. She repeated herself. I knew that there was no way this was possible, and had I been thinking clearly (i.e. no screaming kids or a long line behind me) I would have told her to try it again because she probably entered my number in wrong. Instead, I whipped out a credit card and told her to put it on it. I was pissed off!

I got the kids in the car and went to the gas station. I was on empty and had only $5 on me. I was gonna write the check for $20 over the amount so I'd have gas money.....we see how well that worked. So $5 got me a gallon of gas - just enough to get me home. Seriously? Who buys $5 in gas these days?

After I got on the interstate, I called the 800 number the cashier gave me. The woman on the phone got all my information and told me that there was no negative activity against the checking account. No shit! She asked me if I was still at the store, and I told her no, that I had to leave and was forced to charge my purchase. She said that if this happens again, to stay at the store and get the cashier on the phone so they could get an approval number. DUH! I knew that. I was a cashier for many years. Why the fuck hadn't I done that? I was now cursing myself out! Then I shifted blame to the cashier for probably knowing she could've done this, but instead just standing there like a moron waiting for another form of payment. I actually screamed in my car as loudly as I could. The kids looked confused, but then went back to watching Nemo.

So Saturday afternoon, I was able to get most of my cleaning done, which made me happy. Sunday was our big day. We had about 20 people coming over and I really wanted things to go smoothly. As mentioned in a previous post, my gatherings never really work out, so I was impressed that more than 3 people attending my "Water Works" party.

Around noon, I called B and asked him when he was going to be home (on Saturday he told me he'd be home before everyone came over at 3:30). He said he was getting ready to go golfing. I was speechless. I started to cry. Not only was I running on fumes, but I had just gotten horrible cramps a few hours earlier, and I still had a lot to do before everyone arrived. He asked me if I needed him and I told him yes. He said he'd come home if I wanted him to. Of course I told him not to. I didn't want him being pissed off that I made him come home and then him just be a jerk the rest of the afternoon. I told him just to get done ASAP and hurry home.

I didn't have all the food prepared by the time the first guest rang the doorbell, but it was ok. Everything else was good-to-go, and the moms and dads didn't mind watching my kids while I finished up. I think the total head-count was 23, including me and E and G. We all had a lot of fun and I was glad I got to spend time with people who don't live in my house. For the first time ever, I had more people in my backyard that R and J did in theirs! I felt so cool! The kids played in the pools, sandbox, and on the swing set. Ella was so sad to see them go, that she actually cried for about 30 minutes. "I don't want you to leave!" she kept saying. "Momma, why do my friends have to go?" I tried to reassure her that we'd see them all real soon.

B finally showed up around 6:30. I was a little angry with him, but I realized that I had pulled the meetup off without him, and that made me feel good. Tired, but good. (Plus he had won a new phone for me, so that helped - a MOTORIZR Z6tv!)

Today, B took Spike to All Creatures Animal Hospital so she could be spayed and microchipped. It was really nice to not have to deal with the puppy all day. When it was time for me and the kids to leave the house (we were gonna run a few errands before our meetup) the car wouldn't start. I had failed to put gas in it Saturday afternoon when I got back to St. Joe, and since it was in our driveway on an incline, the car thought it was bone-dry.

I called B to see if we had any regular gas in a can anywhere and he said to check the shed. There was less than a gallon, but I put it in the tank. I then put the car in reverse and let it roll to the end of the driveway. Ella was freaking out in the backseat because she was hot and she didn't understand why we weren't leaving. I waited a minute for the gas to register, then tried to start the car. It started! W00t! I drove the 1/2 mile to the gas station and filled up the car - $76 worth of gas!! WTF! What is the world coming to? But that's a rant for another day.

We now didn't have time to run errands if we were to be on time to the fire station for our meetup. I'd kept it a surprise from Ella, and after 5 minutes of guessing, she got it! We went to the Urbana Firestation and had a tour. There were so many families from C.A.R.E. there that I'd never seen before! The kids got to sit in the firetruck and have their picture taken. Grayson didn't want to get out, and on the way to pick up Spike, Ella told me she wanted to be a "Fire Woman" when she grew up.

We met B at the vet's office to get Spike. She has pink stitches and has a cone on her head. I've never had a pet that has had to wear a cone before. I want to laugh every time I look at her, but I contain it! We brought her home then went to dinner, Sam's Club (not my idea), and PetSmart (also not my idea). Apparently after a major surgery, everyone needs some new chew toys.

The kids and B are asleep, and I now have to go dope up my dog and put her in her kennel for the night. I think I've been sitting here typing for an hour. Carpal Tunnel is going to set in soon.

Wow. This post is really long. Good for you if you stuck through it all the way to the end! You get a gold star for the day. And maybe a few more for the rest of the week, since that's how long it has probably taken you to read it!

The Little Man is Miserable

2008-07-10T19:32:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, Grayson woke up from his afternoon nap with a fever. He's getting in the last of his first set of molars, so I'm assuming that's the reason. I checked his temp prior to bed and it was 100.3. I put the last of the Motrin in his bottle of milk and rocked him to sleep. I just knew that the night wasn't going to go well.

He woke up briefly around 12:30 a.m. but fell back asleep on his own. I decided to just sleep on the couch so that I wouldn't wake up B or Spike when G finally did wake up. About 2 a.m. he was screaming in his crib. I got him out and his body was so hot! I stripped his jammies off of him and put him in a tank-top. Our couch is leather, and I knew he'd be sweating, so I didn't want him to stick to it. I got him some milk with the last of the Tylenol spiked into it (I guess I need to inventory my meds more often) and we assumed our normal position on the couch. It was hard to lie next to him because his body was so hot, but we managed to get some sleep.

When he woke up I checked his temp and it was now 101.3. He was crying with no end in sight, and his body was still so damn hot. I called the doctor's office and they said they couldn't get me in until 1 p.m. so I told them I'd see the on-call doc as soon as possible. I know that the doctors think checking on kids with low-grade fevers are a waste of time, but G just got done with a round of antibiotics for an ear-infection and I wanted to make sure that it wasn't back.

I had about an hour before we left for the doctor's office, so I started the car, turned the A/C up full blast, and loaded up the kids to go to the grocery store for more Motrin (Ella in her pajamas, and G in nothing but a diaper). I left them in the car while I ran in. I know that some people would never,ever do such a thing, but I live in a small town, and I knew they'd be fine. So if you're thinking of giving me grief over it, don't bother.

When I got back, I gave G his meds & tried to give him a luke-warm bath. Normally he's knocking down our bedroom door as soon as I mention bath time. This morning, however, he just cried more after I put him in the water. The poor kid was so miserable. He wouldn't eat or drink anything, and he just kept crying.

He did good on the car ride to the doctor's office, but that could have just been because I had Nemo on the dvd player. We got into the exam room really fast, and the nurse took his weight and temperature - 24 lbs. 15 oz, and a temp of 99.3. Of course it went down - just enough to make me look like an over-reactive mom. The doctor came in and although he was nice enough, I didn't fell 100% comfortable around him, nor did the kids. He said G's ears were fine, and that he's probably just having side-effects of his teething. Then he offered a sticker to Ella, practically shoving the box of them into her hands, and he bolted out the door. I know a screaming kid is no fun, but geez!

At least I know his ear infection is gone, so I guess the $15 co-pay was worth it?

He is still miserable. He napped this afternoon for less than an hour, and he normally takes a 3-hour one. He didn't eat any lunch or dinner, and I've been lucky to get him to drink his milk. I've numbed his gums a few times and I had B get some Tylenol for him. Since they are two different meds, his normal pediatrician said I can give him both a few hours apart. He's so hot, still, and that really bothers me. His whole body is just burning up.......but his "official" temperature is nothing to run to the ER over.

Ella just passed out, and I feel so bad because she wanted to play with me and I had to spend almost all of my day taking care of Grayson. I was able to involve her in a few things, like getting Grayson's bottle or medicine, and she helped me put toppings on the pizza we made, so at least we had some interaction today. But I still feel like I neglected her.

It's almost 9 p.m. and G still won't go to sleep. He keeps fussing over the smallest things, and even his Baby Einstein isn't keeping his attention. It looks like it's going to be one of those nights again. Brady is out of town for the rest of the weekend, so it's just me dealing with everything, again.

Nap Time for Mommy

2008-07-07T09:34:00.003-05:00

I have always thought that a person can tell just how tired they were by the amount of drool they wake up in.

Yesterday, Sunday, I was able to take nap. I haven't had an uninterrupted nap in a really long time. So after G went down around 1:30, I headed straight to the bedroom planning to really feel the benefits of our new mattress by taking advantage of an empty bed. I briefly mumbled something of this sort to B as I shuffled into the bedroom. I was so stinking tired! The weekend was long and full of fun and excitement, and I hadn't had much sleep the night before.

I remember waking up 3 times, but not because E had come in to ask me a question, or because she needed to go on the potty. I woke up because I had drooled so much, I had to flip my pillow over - 3 times! Each time I was back in dreamland faster than a pack of dogs on a 3-legged cat.
When I finally woke up with the intentions of actually getting out of bed, I just layed there thinking, "Wow. I was really tired. How much drool can one person actually produce?"

I walked into the living room and looked at B. He said I'd been asleep for 2 1/2 hours. When I told him about my wet pillow, he just gave me the "look," and went back to watching his golf tournament. The "look," (which I'll refer to often, because I get it often) consists of him sorta pursing his lips and furrowing his brow while rolling his eyes. It annoys the shit outta me.

So the nap was well deserved, and the bed passed the test. I was worried that because of the nap I wouldn't be able to fall asleep last night. Ha! Sometimes I surprise myself, because I was actually asleep before midnight, which is rare! AND.....I slept in 'til 8 o'clock this morning! The sleep gods are being nice for a change, and I'm taking full advantage of it!

Disappointed

2008-07-03T08:34:00.004-05:00

We are staying in town for the holiday weekend. B's on call (when isn't he?) and although I could have taken the kids up north by myself, it didn't seem fair to leave him home alone.

I invited a few different people/families over for a cookout and fireworks on Saturday, but I don't think too many are coming. I know my parents, my SIL and my niece and nephew are coming, but I think that will be it. I suppose it will be easier this way. Since it's only family coming over, the house doesn't have to be as clean, and I don't have to worry about making things run so smoothly. But at the same time, I'm still frustrated that the other people aren't coming, or haven't told me if they are or not.

I like to entertain. I love putting together fun foods, and making things as enjoyable for my guests as possible. The problem is that I haven't done it very much because we never really have people over to the house. I invite people all the time, but no one comes. It's been this way my whole life.

In junior high, and high school, people didn't come to my birthday parties because my birthday was always during basketball playoffs, and there always seemed to be a game. In college, it was finals. (My birthday is December 13). You would think that I'd be used to this - trying to plan something and people not showing up. Even with the moms group, it seems to be the same way. I'm trying to plan a mini-carnival for the kids. I had lots of people say they were interested in it and that it was a good idea.......in the beginning. Now that I'm trying to put it into motion, only a handful of people have actually committed themselves to helping.

I understand that people have schedules and appointments and emergencies. What I don't understand is what makes my birthdays/cookouts/play dates/meetups less important than someone else's? What I don't understand, is why, after almost 4 years, have none of our friends from back home come down to visit? (Seriously. Not a single friend). We live less than 2 hours away, and they can't come down for a cookout, but can drive to Chicago every month or so for a baseball game, boat show, or shopping trip? (It's the same distance).

A lot of B's friends don't have kids, and still spend their weekends getting drunk and acting stupid. They may be in their 30's, but they still act like college kids. I sorta understand about them not wanting to spend a day with the kids....worrying about cussing in front of them, not being able to talk about sex or making rude gestures. But really. If they were his friends, they'd do it for him. At least you'd think they would.

That's part of my problem. I expect too much from people. I think of what I would do; how much effort I put into relationships. I think that if I would bend over backward for a friend, they should do the same for me. If I'm putting in 110%, they should too. Most of the time, I am disappointed because of my expectations. I keep hoping that the next time will be different, and it usually isn't.

So the fact that I gave people over a two week notice about the cookout, and they couldn't add me to their schedules disappoints me. I will enjoy having my family down for the day. I will put on my hostess hat and make sure we all have a good time. We'll cook some steaks, the kids will play in the pool, and we'll light off illegal fireworks ('cause our town doesn't really care). But I'll still be irritated with those "other" people......for a few weeks. Then I'll try to plan something else, get my hopes up that they'll come, and be disappointed again. It's a cycle I wish I could break.

My Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

2008-07-01T19:18:00.005-05:00

For some reason today, I thought about Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. I don't know why this game crossed my mind, but I did realize that I essentially know Kevin in less than 6.

1. My husband went to school with
2. Jeff Vezain who plays in the Lt. Dan Band with
3. Gary Sinise who was in Appollo 13
4. with Kevin Bacon.

This information is neither important nor relative to much of anything, but I thought it was sorta cool.

It's coming back up

2008-06-27T18:55:00.005-05:00

I vomited a lot as a child. A LOT. From the age of about 4 until about 7, I would throw up after eating. I can't say it was bulimia, because it wasn't intentional. I simply ate so much that my little stomach couldn't take it.

I threw up everywhere. I had a large bowl that my parents had named, "Sarah's puke bucket," and if I was feeling queasy, it went where I went. I couldn't puke normally. Oh no. I had to projectile vomit almost every time.

I threw up in my sleep once. I didn't remember doing it, but I remember my mother cleaning me and my bed up in the morning. I think she was angry with me, but at the same time, she knew it was an accident.

I remember my grandmother and aunt babysitting my brothers and me one day. I was feeling sick, and ran for the bathroom. As soon as I got over the threshold, I projected vomit in the direction of the toilet. I didn't make the goal and I'm pretty sure that Grandma being the old-school hard-ass granny she was, yelled at me.

We took a trip to New Jersey when I was in the first grade. My aunt was getting married and I was her flower girl. We took this enormous van and traveled with my mom's parents (the good grandparents) and my 2 uncles.

On the way there, I wanted to sit up front so badly. We kids had to take turns. Mine came at night, and my grandpa was driving. I was having such a good time! Sitting up front like the big kids and watching all the lights of oncoming traffic.

It came out of nowhere. One minute I was fine, the next I was puking on the dash board of this rented van. My grandpa pulled the van over at the next rest stop and my mom got me out and cleaned me up. I'm sure my dad was busy cleaning up the van, but I don't remember. What I do remember is sitting on the back end of the van with the doors open feeling physically fine, but totally embarrassed. I also remember the fact that my mother forgot my shoes on the pavement. It wasn't until the next morning that she realized she had forgotten them. I ended up with some dime store baby blue tennis shoes that were a size or two too big for me to wear the rest of the trip. (I have pictures of me in them for proof).

I threw up in second grade in the middle of gym class. I told that stupid gym teacher a dozen times I didn't feel good. She made me run laps anyway. I hope she felt stupid after I embarrassed myself in front of my whole class. Bitch.

Fast forward a few years to college. If a night of drinking was lingering over me in the morning, I would self-induce vomiting (always in the toilet now that I had some control). It always made me feel better and made room for great cafeteria breakfast foods. As good as it made me feel afterward (seriously, that much alcohol doesn't belong in any one body), the act of throwing up physically hurt. And I was never one of those quiet pukers. I could never have been one of those bulimic girls who were able to hide it from their friends and family.

Since college, I haven't really had to pray to the porcelain god. Once when I was pregnant with Ella, and the night of my bachelorette party alongside I-80 at the Utica exit.

Fast forward again to today. I took Grayson to the doctor. He has a cold, and was diagnosed with an ear infection. Since I knew it'd take an hour to get his medicine, I took the kids for lunch at Sonic. I though some tater tots sounded good, and I love the Cherry Limeades.

I ordered a hot dog for Ella and popcorn chicken for Grayson....both with tots. After paying for the food I began to distribute it to the hungry kids in the back seat. Ella's meal was conveniently in a box, so I just handed it back to her, noticing how gross the hot dog looked. I think it had been on the rollers a little too long. I tried to give Grayson the chicken, but the pieces were too small. I ate a few and thought they tasted gross. I could smell and taste the oil they were cooked in. I decided that Grayson was not going to eat those. Not only were they a choking hazard, they weren't even edible (in my opinion). For some reason, the tots seemed fine, although I knew they were cooked in the same oil.

I stopped at McDonald's to get him chicken nuggets and proceeded to Walgreen's to get his prescription. I parked the car, turned around to Ella to tell her that we had to go into the store, and saw the look on her face.

"My tummy hurts, mommy!" she said.
"Do you have to go on the potty?" I said.
She started crying and I asked her again. "Do you need to go on the potty? Answer me! Yes or no?"

And then it happened. She started to throw up. Luckily for me, she is not a projectile vommiter. And lucky for me, she still had the box that her food came in in her lap. So, while tears streamed out of her eyes, I held the box as close to her as I could reach so she didn't get too much on her. I didn't dare let go of the box to even unbuckle my seat belt until I knew she was done.

After she was finished, I got out of the car and went to her. She was still crying, and through the tears, she says, "I don't like hot dogs anymore." I wanted to laugh. Even in these moments, she can still be cute.

There was a dumpster nearby, so I pulled the car over to it. I wanted to clean her up as fast as possible, so she wouldn't be as emotionally scarred as I knew I would have been. Who wants to sit in their own vomit for a 20-minute ride home? I stripped her down to her underwear in the back of the car and made her sit there while I cleaned up her seat. Thank goodness most of it went into the box. I hear her say from the back of the car, "Everyone can see me naked, momma." She proceeds to jump and dance around the trunk of the car, obviously feeling better.

I strapped her into her seat in just her underwear with napkins underneath her, and we went to the drive-up for Grayson's medicine. Ella tells me she's hungry and wants mac and cheese. Obviously the vomiting in the car incident didn't phase her.

The interesting thing about Ella's incident today, is that there were hot dogs involved. Hot dogs were the one food that I threw up most when I was her age. This was the 2nd bout of vomiting for her in the last 2 months. I am just hoping that all I did as a kid isn't coming back to haunt me. I'm hoping I won't be cleaning regurgitated food out of her hair in the wee hours of the morn like my mother did with me.

At least we made it home with all our shoes today.

It's just easier this way.

2008-06-24T11:55:00.003-05:00

After a very long night with Grayson, I don't feel like doing much of anything today. I think he slept in his bed for 1 1/2 hours before he woke up with a fever (damn molars interrupting my sleep). So I assumed our normal position on the couch hoping we'd just finish off our sweet dreams there. He was just so uncomfortable that he tossed and turned the whole time. I know neither of us got any "real" sleep, yet he isn't the one lacking energy today.

I was able to do some dishes, laundry, and clean Ella's room. However, to accomplish those things, I plopped Grayson into the recliner and put on a Baby Einstein movie. When that was over (this particular one doesn't have the "repeat" option) I put in The Backyardigans.

I know all the experts say that watching TV is damaging to the children. I don't fully agree with that. I moderate what my children watch. They aren't watching Power Rangers, TMNT, or Sponge Bob (just because that show is simply stupid, not because it's really violent). They watch what I consider educational shows or interactive shows. We like stuff on Sprout, Noggin, and most things on PBS. I tried to avoid Dora and Diego as long as possible, but darn it! they just love them! We watch the Backyardigans a lot. It happens to be my favorite as well as Grayson's.

I know that they are learning stuff from these shows. Ella is constantly surprising me. I didn't know she knew how to count to ten in Spanish, or how to say "Hello" in Chinese until I heard her do so. Her imagination is a plethora of stories and ideas that I know have mostly come from television shows and movies. And I am OK with that. I know that if Grayson could talk, he'd be reciting lines from shows and telling me, "No, Mama, it's an Orca whale," just like Ella has.

It's not as though my kids would rather watch TV instead of playing outside; they love the outdoors. But on days when I feel like shit, or the humidity is too much for me, or I'm just too tired to really play with them (like today), or I need to put a dent in that never ending pile of laundry, I let them watch TV. I'm fine with it, and sometimes, it's just easier that way.

2008-06-23T22:20:00.002-05:00

As I sit here discovering the world of bloggers, blogging, and the ever-popular blog itself, my 16-month old son Grayson is perched upon my lap eating a piece of paper. He has a hooded frog bath towel draped over his head in a superhero cape fashion, and he's devouring a piece of note paper. With his thumb in his mouth, he still manages to chew and swallow. I've no clue how he does it, nor why. It keeps him happy, the paper, and although I chase him down each and every day trying to keep him from eating books, magazines, bills, and tissues, he still manages to get his "fix." I suppose I just pick and choose my battles, and he has won this one.

He should be in bed. He's had a bottle of milk and a few stories, and yet here he is.....just wanting to be part of what I'm doing. I sit here and press my nose to the back of his head, inhaling the smell of his hair. I love cuddling him on bath nights. I know these days of snuggling, cuddling, and nose-kisses will be over in a few years, so I try to take in as much as I can.....I try to remember every smile, grin, laugh, gaze, touch and smell that comes my way from both my children.

There are times I wish we were constantly being filmed for a reality television show. At least then I'd have something to look back at when they are both grown. Sure, I take pictures and videos. I keep journals for both children and one for myself. And now I've started this blog. I think that these forms of documentation are not only for me to reminisce over later, but for the kids too. If something were to ever happen to me before Ella and Grayson are grown with children of their own, I want them to have a way to know who I am. Their daddy will only have so many stories about Mommy, and I want them to know me....really know me, and know how much I loved them and how they have impacted my life.

So now, as I wipe tears from my face and type with one hand, I think my Little Man is finally ready to go to sleep. I will snuggle with him until he's in dream land, then I myself will try to dream as well.